Posts Tagged ‘Rogue States’

With news of Iranian drone technology being purchased by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, it is only a matter of time before the Castro regime has their own drones patrolling Florida’s skylines for the exiled enemies of Cuba’s Revolution. I would imagine Florida’s community of anti-communist Cubans is already up-in-arms about the technological “progress” of the Venezuelan socialists. The rise of drone technology in Cuba could push back Little Havana’s unRevolution another 50 years.

Of course, as a paranoid, web-dwelling, conspiracy theorist with sociophobic behavioral problems, I, Vic Neverman, lack certain connections with the community at-large and the Cuban community in-particular (especially since Don Pepe’s closed). While I can imagine certain communities might be enraged, infiltrating these circles is difficult when I lack the delicate patience for small talk. Or do not speak their language. I do, however, have my confidential sources which I rely on for information concerning Latin affairs. At least I have one source: Dutch. Of course, Dutch (aka “the Duchess”) isn’t Cuban and she barely qualifies being Puerto Rican since she is really from Wisconsin (even this is in question as she plays coy whenever I mention my favorite gin joints, as if anyone from South Milwaukee wouldn’t know what I was talking about). Still, I have made note to get Dutch’s take on the Cuban question. Maybe she got wind of something while watching her spanish soap operas.

Until then, I must imagine… Uproar!

Now you, dear reader, are probably skeptical of the truth to this Iranian technology Chavez now possesses. Let me tell you – out of all the rogue states out there, who has seen more drones than Iran? The list is short. Of course, just because Iran may have had their eyefuls of skies filled of drones doesn’t mean they can reverse engineer “the Beast of Kandahar”. Venezuela will not have anything akin to Grade-A American predator drones for quite some time. Still, they do have enough sense to be able to put together a flying lawn mower, even if it is just technology through osmosis. And now this technology is in the hands of Venezuela.

If the Castro brothers get there hands on some drones, they could conceivably spy on their least-liked cousins in Miami with relative ease… that is assuming the United States Air Force doesn’t shoot down the oversized sea gulls. Imagine the Castro Brothers sending a flying torpedo after Marco Rubio, dive bombing his estate and making an utter mess of the senator’s pool deck. I think the resulting hijinks might just be deemed worthy of Fidel taking a celebratory cigar out of the box for the first time in many years.

Air Force General Douglas Fraser is the chief of US military operations in South America and he downgraded the threat of Hugo Chavez’ drones as obsolete technology. Even Joe Biden laughed it off during his Mexican tour. But just because these drones do not have the ability to leave Caracas on an espionage run to Miami and make the return trip home does not mean they cannot be a danger. If When Israel attacks Iran, if Venezuela wants to retaliate in favor of their ally, they could launch their drone squadron on a kamikaze strike of Key West. No return ticket needed once Margaritaville is wasted away.

Ironically, Brazil is in cahoots with the Israelis on setting up their own droid force. Should Venezuela’s alliance with Iran come into play, Brazil might just be knocking on the neighbor’s door upstairs with their pet drone.

Fortunately, the only drones I have seen over-shoulder during my wanderings through the Florida scrub have been American made (though I am not sure how fortunate that is for your narrator). As the complicated global alliances are tested in these coming years, be on the lookout for this foreign drone menace. To quote some rum drunk guy at the bar last night, “War doesn’t change, the bullets just get bigger.”

Victor Ulysses Neverman presents: the world’s most untimely Superbowl prediction. The appearance of this blog was not intended to be two weeks after the game. In fact, well in advance I had compiled a dazzlingly deductive-reasoned argument for one team to beat its other before I was driven underground by the alarming rants of Reverend Chette (see the “You Are Being Watched…” blog). Having now reappeared, my NeverHead poking out of my bunker like a groundhog looking for his paranoid shadow, I have learned that my football predictions are not only obsolete, but startlingly incorrect. So please, dear reader, allow me to take this opportunity to reconstruct this forecast to something more ominous than my faith in Tom Brady. Tonight I speak of Israel’s likelihood of striking Iran in the coming months.

It is of no great irony that I, Vic Neverman, do not have any rocket scientist friends. Sure, you might think someone of my mental caliber must have all sorts of Los Alamos area codes coming up on my caller ID, but it is not so. One of the reasons why I may not have any rocket scientist pals is because Israel has killed them all. NOTE: I don’t say this in spite. I am, in fact, notoriously neutral on Israel and even understanding of their eradication of rogue nuke geeks. One need only look at the news headlines “5 Russian nuclear physicists die in plane crash outside Moscow” or “North Korean nuclear reactor janitor disemboweled by pitchfork” or “unemployed Pakistani nuke warhead duster kills himself by holding a pillow over his face” to recognize this is the work of the infamous Mossad murder squads. Of course, these are headlines I just made up rather than citing legitimate articles, but similar articles can be found and they are worth reading…

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/13/has-israel-been-killing-iran-s-nuclear-scientists.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007389/Five-Russian-scientists-helped-Iran-nuclear-secrets-killed-tragic-plane-crash.html

It is safe to say (or would be if the Mossad wasn’t listening to everything I said) that if you are an unemployed nuke geek or if you are employed by any Iranian entity, you better be looking over your shoulder for Israeli motorcycle assassins. Hell, they may not even be on motorbike. The Mossad has a team of transvestite demolition experts infiltrating Iran according to this Samsung commercial (which is hilarious):

Even with these rogue nuke geeks dropping like radiated flies and even with the US/Israeli stuxnet virus eating away at Iranian infrastructure, Iran is getting ever closer to nuclear capability. Israel simply must attack. They have no choice.

For those of you who preceded the slack-ass millennial generation or those who have an understanding of history, you might say “the US and Russia both stockpiled nukes that were never used”. And yes, you would be correct. But Israel vs. Iran is not the same as Rocky vs. Vlad.

What is obvious is that the first mistake was settling the Israelites in Israel. If I were in those closed doored meetings post-WWII, I would have recommended sending the chosen people to Nevada. Give them the whole state north of Vegas, I would have recommended. The terrain is more forgiving and their neighbors would be fundamentalist Mormons instead of fundamentalist Muslims. Instead, the Israelites created some quasi-democratic crusader state in the Levant, much to the delight of western powers who sought a foothold in the oil rich region as well as a catalyst for reaping rewards from further bloodshed (think about it – who really won by the U.S. entering into WWII late, if not the military industrial complex?).

Let us not dwell on the past! What’s done is done and Israel remains in Palestine, where they have painted themselves into a corner and are forced to preemptively strike Iran in order to ensure their survival. Back to the argument that this is not the same as the Cold War between USA and USSR, I would like to present two reasons why this situation is different:

1 – Israel doesn’t have the Wolverines. Just ask Russia what they thought when they watched the brilliant motion picture “Red Dawn” starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, and C Thomas Howell as Texas high schoolers defending America from a joint Russian/Mexican/Cuban invasion. Those Commie bastards certainly were not putting “Baby into a corner”, Jennifer Grey shot a bazooka at one point. Imagine yourself as a Commie Red and read this exchange between Powers Booth and C Tom (in what was his greatest role not playing volleyball or pretending to be African American in order to get into Harvard)…
Powers: All that hate’s gonna burn you up, kid
Howell: It keeps me warm at night
Gives me chills every time.

2 – Israel lacks a retaliatory threat. This sort of talk is where Vic Neverman earns the big bucks folks. Back in the Cold War, if the USSR nuked the USA, there were seven seas of nuke subs ready to nuke the Soviets right back. And Vice Versa – the US could have blown away every key commie city, but the nuclear retaliation would have still wiped North America off the map. Israel does not have a submarine fleet. Israel is a small sliver of land, any nuclear offensive would put an end to the story.

So you see, this is not a chess match. Israel can’t think a couple moves ahead because allowing just one move by a nuclear Iran means annihilation. If you are a betting man, put your money on an Israeli strike on Iran. Not nuclear, just tactical airstrikes meant to disable Iranian nuclear capability. The United States will be forced out of the conflict by those assholes in Moscow and Beijing who don’t want American interference but do benefit from their “pal” Iran being under attack and requiring missile defense systems on the cheap. Fortunately, for Israel, they should be able to handle this on their own as long as Iraq is in chaos and Iraqi airspace is open. We, being the US, should be happy to stay clear and keep our hands clean. Israel has no other option, but we do.

Strangely, this entire argument greatly resembles my thoughts on why the Patriots would be the Giants.

Wolverines!

The State Department has theorized a mighty fine conspiracy, that Iran is responsible for a half-witted plot to blow-up a Saudi diplomat on American soil. Should Iran be tied to this conspiracy there will be consequences, but please can we get beyond-a-reasonable-doubt proof before we go off to war again? It is my quasi-professional opinion that while the conspirators can certainly be proven guilty of planning to assassinate the Saudi ambassador to the United States, it is their ties to Iran and the Quds Force I do not believe can sustain the burden of proof. Before we begin swarming Tehran with our fleet of killer drones, can we please ensure Iran is guilty of initiating this masterful blunder of a cluster fuck?

Obama, who has amped-up American military involvement across the globe, has largely followed the same policies (advised by the same voices) as the previous administration. Those who remember “Weapons of Mass Destruction” will understand it falls without our capacity to overreach when theorizing conspiracies involving our perceived enemies. Should we not pause long enough to qualify the information we are receiving before our Air Force virtual jockeys grab the joysticks to their respective Predator drones and start lighting up the desert?

If it seems like I, Vic Neverman, am a bit fired up it is because I am…

Last month, Lloyd’s of London had enough proof Saudi Arabia was indirectly responsible for the financing of 9/11 that they took their findings to court to collect on damages for insurance policies they had to pay out. Saudi Royalty promptly settled out of court with Lloyd’s (or in some other way convinced LoL to drop the suit), which means the case and their findings will never see the light of my underground bunker’s fluorescent bulb. But is anyone reporting on the information Lloyd’s learned and then threatened to reveal to the public (via court), thus garnering them their (assumed) payday?

No.

No, instead we’re experiencing the media’s weapon of mass distraction as everyone’s ire is now focused on Iran and this surreal plot of Iranian Special Forces commanding an Iranian-American used car salesman to hire a Mexican drug thug to bomb the Saudi ambassador to the United States. If true, the Iranian plot deserves front page and perhaps a movie deal, but shouldn’t the implications of the Saudis funding al Qaeda get some press time too?

I, Vic Neverman, am not saying this is an American-sponsored plot to recruit unlikely suspects into a scheme designed to fail in order to shift focus away from the Saudi princes and onto a rival of Saudi Arabia, Iran, who we happen to want to drone the hell out of anyway. I am not saying that. All I am asking for is a trial that will prove whether Iran truly is involved before we bomb the shit out of them. Is this too much to ask?

See the following link for good insight into Iran’s Qud Force and the high strangeness of this plot from the magazine Foreign Policy:
http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/10/13/worst_plot_ever

You have to admire Iranian business savvy. Iran is attempting to sue Russia into selling them a defensive missile collectors court (case was filed with the International Court of Justice), but legal fees are expensive. With all of the economic sanctions upon Iran, where will they get money to fight the good fight? Where else, but Saudi Arabia?

Why would the Saudis be interested in paying Iran? The same reason they are paying off al Qaeda.

Iran looks towards their Islamic rivals (Sunni Saudis versus the Shiite majority of Iran) and find a great economic opportunity. The Saudis, it seems, will pay for peace on their own dusty shores. This was evidenced in the case recently brought, and subsequently dropped, by the infamous insurer Lloyd’s of London. LoL brought a lawsuit against the Saudi royalty to the tune of $215 million dollars for damages incurred during 9/11.

I will let this sink in…

Lloyd’s of London was suing Saudi princes for 9/11 damages. These royals must have quickly settled as the case was barely filed before LoL dropped the suit a few weeks ago. This conversation turns to what Lloyd’s could prove – that the Saudi princes financed 9/11. The only question is what were the Saudis paying for? Vegas odds say it was a racketeering scam. The Saudis were paying for protection. Saudi royalty was paying al Qaeda to not blow-up Saudi royalty. The Saudis insured their own safety by indirectly financing 9/11.

Which is where the Iranian idea of using extortion to pay their own legal bills came from.

The elite Iranian Quds Force decided to assassinate the Saudi ambassador to the United States. You can even see the hamsters work the wheel in Ahmadinejad’s skull… blow-up this diplomat on American soil and you will scare the golden flakes of shit out of the King of the House of Saud. Bling-bling.

Where Quds Force went wrong was seeking out just the right professional for the job. Remember how I mentioned Iranian business savvy? Well, they did what any international operation in America should do – they outsourced to Mexico. They found the meanest, scariest, Mexican drug lord henchman they could find and offered $1.5 million to kill Adel al-Jubeir, the Saudi diplomat. Fortunately for Adel, the Mexican assassin Quds Force was talking to just happened to work for the DEA. Oops…

So that backfired a bit and now Obama and the United States of Killer Drones has justification to screw the vise even tighter with Iranian sanctions. In fact, this conspiracy plot seems so hare-brained, it almost begets a counter-conspiracy plot. Are the Iranians this clueless, to try to assassinate a Saudi diplomat on American turf via Mexican dynamiter? Or is this plot farfetched because it was scripted by Hollywood to justify the overthrow of Ahmadinejad and the Islamic extremist regime?

“Winter is coming.” George RR Martin penned into his book, Game of Thrones, but the patron of his protagonist clan may have been looking beyond the Wall at the sleeping Soviet dragon rather than the undead Others. As Qaddafi falls and Arab Spring continues, a Russian Winter looms for western powers.

Libya will oust Qaddafi and plunge into political turmoil as tribes squabble over the future of the country and the oil they produce. Obama and the Western leaders will appear to have chosen the right side, if nothing else. Libya isn’t just some gateway drug, though, it was a downright trap with Syria waiting on the horizon. It is classic bait and switch, we jump at the chance to attack a rogue state which viciously murdered its own citizens, but are caught blinking as one goes down and Syria commits the Ramadan Massacre.

We will be forced to pick a fight with a bully we don’t want to put down. Unlike Libya, this rogue state has a bunch of relevant friends: Iran and Russia. With the United States economically and militarily weary, we are playing right into the hands of the Russians. They had us on the ropes in 2008 when Wall Street went to shit, but China refused to destroy the dollar – more out of self-preservation than out of respect to us.

The United States will not be leaving Afghanistan any time soon. We are slowly lining up international bases in preparation for what may become an inevitable war with the eastern powers. I will say I do not know China’s role in this brewing catastrophe just yet. They are arming the South China Sea – a vital international trading passage – by expanding their naval fleet with state-of-the-art ships. And of course there is the simple fact that China has a gender imbalance of about 60 million more men – an indicator that the market is ripe for a land war and prostitution. China might just be waiting on the sidelines to see who emerges from this brouhaha. Very quietly, they have bought up much of the mineral resources in both Africa and Australia. With space and the Arctic as new frontiers, it is the Chinese that are poised to take over the world. Time to teach our prostitutes Mandarin, if you ask me.

Back to the main point: the brutal dictatorships in North Africa needed to be overthrown, even though the revolutionaries may not be prepared to fill the huge power vacuum the lack of authoritarian government leaves behind. With this being said, the involvement of the United States has inched us closer to the great showdown. Can diplomacy save the day and the citizens of Syria? Or will Damascus be the new Baghdad of the American crusade? Would Iran be next? How many lines can we cross before the Russians and Chinese start pushing back?

In the mid-1980s, no one foresaw the coming rapid decline of the Soviet Union. We Americans were scared shitless with images of Red Dawn and we all knew, but were afraid to admit, that while the Russians could produce an army of Ivan Dragos there was only one Rocky Balboa. Of course, economically, the Soviets were really hurting, but nothing they had not been through before. There seemed no reason for their collapse, yet, the Berlin Wall fell and soon the Communist Revolution with it. People named Richard Pipes called the fall of the Russian Empire “unexpected” and people named George Kennan said it was “inexplicable” and these are people that are frequently quoted! Perhaps these highly quotable persons were on to something… What if the Soviets faked their own demise and only went into hiding, where they are plotting, scheming, masterminding their continued global revolution?

Nikita Khruschev, media darling

First, let us not take for granted what the Soviets were up against. Afghanistan had been a long, drawn-out, war long before Charlie Wilson showed up with stinger missiles and Rambo. Soviet pockets were further lightened from all of the financial assistance the Kremlin was giving the Eastern Bloc and Cuba, with very little received in return other than good James Bond action locales. Then there was the hidden agenda within Reaganomics. The US drew “friends 4-eva” in the desert sand with the King of the Sauds and the next thing you know, oil production is through the roof, driving down the cost of gasoline (Russians make money off of high gas prices – remember this). Also, rumor has it Reagan sent the world’s best counterfeiters into Russia to produce fake Rubles and drive the price of inflation to unstable levels. Nyet very good.

Second, let us keep in mind Gorbachev was a softy. We imagined him as an evil mastermind because who else would ascend to power in Moscow? In truth, though, Gorby was a pacifist and an idealist. Or so he played… In the downfall of the Soviet Union, Gorbachev was selling a moral revolution. Moral revolution? WTF? Perestroika sounded a lot more ominous than it ended up being.

Just imagine if Khrushchev had still been host of the party? This man once threatened to show “Kuzka’s Mother” to the colonialist capitalists (us, the US). I am not sure who Kuzka was, but her mother must have been a real bitch as little Nikita Khrushchev spoke of her in reference to Tsar Bomba, a nuclear demonstration by the Soviets that remains today the single most powerful device ever used by humanity (at least on record for the modern period of history, the Rig Veda* suggests otherwise). At a party in Moscow, Khrushchev once joked with American diplomats, “we are making missiles like sausages!” Just imagine those Yankee tourists, listening to this translation and wondering how much pig intestine is required to wrap-up a nuclear warhead.
Khruschev’s display of Kuzka’s Mother in the form of Tsar Bomba:

Khruschev was long unseated as the Premier, though. Mikhail Gorbachev was in charge and he restructured the Soviet Union into irrelevance. Or so we believe…

We cannot even say the Soviets are in hiding with a puppet master like Vlad Putin pulling the strings in the Kremlin. Vlad is proof the hammer, the sickle, and the bloody KGB is alive and well. So what happened? What was the hidden genius behind Gorbachev’s perestroika that calmed the West into believing the great dragon had gone aslumber? Imagine this: socialists of the world unite! Russia and China could see how arming the Armageddon by stockpiling nukes got neither East nor West anywhere. What is the point of world dominion if it comes via a Mad Max wasteland? So they scale back. Allies by default, they accept the same basic plan of embracing the capitalism of the colonialists while also fostering new enemies for the West, a la, rogue states. Rogue states that are dangerous, but lack the resources for a large scale attack.

Picture yourself at home in your suburban splendor. You don’t care for your neighbor to your left or the neighbor to your right, but ultimately, there is no reason for confrontation. Suddenly, though, there is a pit bull shitting in your front yard. Armed with your shovel, you chase the dog, North Korea, over to one neighbor’s house. This neighbor doesn’t claim to own the dog, will not clean up after the dog, yet warns you not to decapitate it. Similarly, another dog is shitting in your backyard. You chase this dog, Iran, into the other neighbor’s yard where you hear the same story. Meanwhile, you have to keep your Israeli wife from storming out with a shotgun and killing some pooch. This is the suburbanite hell we find ourselves in.

Anna Chapman, deported from the U.S. on charges of espionage, is now a pop singer/fashion model back in Russia

Like the Roman, Napoleonic, British, Nazi regimes before us, we have spread ourselves thin with conflict on too many fronts. Our colonial empire is coming to an end, just as the Arab Spring is blossoming (a movement unseating the tyrants who have been in power much to the benefit of the West’s influence or “colonialism”). Oil prices are definitely on the rise and who benefits from this? The damn Russians, that is who.

“The Cold War is over!” you must be crying, desperately clinging to your idealist dream of the great messiah, the Hollywood McCarthyist, Ronald Reagan defeating the evil empire where Eisenhower, Kennedy, LBJ and Nixon failed. Sure the Cold War is over, but then who are these super spy-babes that keep springing up like pop-tarts at a toaster convention?

The days of the threat of mutual nuclear annihilation may be over, but Russians are a very passionate people and they hold a grudge. And so do their Soviet overlords…

Footnotes:
*Rig Veda – ancient Indian sanskrit epic poem detailing, amongst other things, nuclear war between the gods and their flying vessels.

Best conjectures on what sort of work is being done at Area 51 today would be that the CIA and Air Force are building stealth satellites with their military industrial corporate sponsors. With China showing off its fierce satellite destroyer rocket, a stealth satellite might be exactly what is called for (if they are not already in place). In the meantime, we are sending cheap satellites into space with technology developed for the U-2 spy plane at Area 51 some 60 years ago. It is quantity over quality scheduled to blast off today from Wallops Island, VA, carrying a low tech satellite aboard an 80,000 lb Minotaur rocket. The missile launching powers-that-be figure if China is going to shoot our space trash out of orbit, might as well send up more cheaper sats.

Not far behind us… actually, very far behind us… are those wacky Iranians who have managed to put a 34 lb satellite in orbit all by themselves (i.e. Russia didn’t help them this time). While the satellite itself is nothing to be too concerned with, this is a demonstration of the pony that put the baby sat there in the first place – Iranian rocket technology. If their rockets can reach orbit, they can likely reach Israel.

Fortunately, the Iranian nuclear facility at Bushehr isn’t quite complete. With a very convenient plane crash in Northwest Russia, the nuke factory in Iran was served a further setback. Who says there is no such thing as coincidences?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007389/Five-Russian-scientists-helped-Iran-nuclear-secrets-killed-tragic-plane-crash.html

Speaking of the Mossad, I was reading the Jerusalem Post and they have some interesting intel on Iran’s plans to launch a monkey into space:

http://www.jpost.com/MiddleEast/Article.aspx?id=225332

At this point, I have to question the effectiveness of the sanctions our Western Civilization is putting on Persia. How the fuck are the Iranians getting monkeys? I have never been to Tehran, but I don’t recall any of my monkey classes mentioning monkeys in Iran. The Russians taught them Nuke 101, but are they also funneling space monkeys to Ahmadinejad? And who trains these monkeys?