Posts Tagged ‘Cover-up’

Don’t you know that a midnight hour comes when everyone has to take off his mask? Do you think life always lets itself be trifled with? Do you think you can sneak off a little before midnight to escape this?

― Søren Kierkegaard

Edward Snowden, or the fella alleged to be Edward Snowden, continues to lurk within the shadows of Hong Kong. His public announcements about the benefits of Hong Kong hiding counter the sentiment of the masses. Snowden claims, from whichever safe house he barters his power-point spreads in return for a taste of fame (or her cross-eyed, slutty sister, infamy), that Hong Kong is a well thought-out location for him to fight his legal battles against the pending charges of treason (courtesy of the Espionage Act of 1917, kept snug in Obama’s hip pocket). From what I can gather, however, Snowden’s point is true only if protected (held captive) by China. Hong Kong may be semi-autonomous, but ultimately Beijing has veto power and may easily take advantage of the snowflake that fell, perhaps unwittingly, into their totalitarian lap. Out of the frying pan and into the wok for you, Mr. Snowden.

out of the fryer and into the wok

out of the fryer and into the wok

Why would a whistle-blower, assumingly protecting the American people from the legitimate Police State threat that is the NSA, turn to an authoritative regime in China whose humanitarian and censorship practices are the most egregious in the world? Damn good question. I have already voiced my doubt in the very existence of this Edward Snowden. Whether this character is directly pulled from the gut-spilling secrets of the “Snowden” bombardier in Catch 22 or is inspired by the Canadian rapper Snow, who admitted in his one-hit wonder, “a licky boom boom down, it doesn’t really matter. Something is gravely amiss about this NSA whistle-blower.

Informer... (random mutterings) yeah, a licky boom boom down

Informer… (random mutterings) yeah, a licky boom boom down

A deep-throated confidant, who calls himself Reverend Chette, echoes my concerns and suggests the existence of Snowden, in itself, is a plot of the Obama administration to draw attention away from the IRS and Benghazi scandals. From Prague, I have received word from the exiled Apocalypto Survivalist, Cyrus Lee Hancock, who insists that all this focus on Snowden (his life, his girlfriend, his proclivities) is itself a smoke and mirrors act designed to take our eyes away from the NSA’s Prism Project. While I, Vic Neverman, am an advocate in favor of transparency in government, I cannot hide my absolute suspicion of this strange cat, Edward Snowden.

But nevermind the small talk! Let us get to the point at hand: What would an American exile do if trapped in Hong Kong?

East Asia

The easiest avenue would be to get into bed with the capitalist commies of Beijing. Snowden could live as a king for as long as he seemed worth China’s while. Imagine if he decides to work for China’s Blue Army – the elite hackers of the People’s Liberation Movement who are clogging your inbox with spam like an elephant in musth hovering over your keyboard. Snowden could live like a king indefinitely.

Should he turn his nose up to Beijing and their oppressive rule, he will need to stray further than Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos and North Korea. While these locales are local enough, their regimes are just as totalitarian and/or are fed on China Red.

Central America

Should Snowden change his appearance and join the merchant marines, he might manage to sail his way to Panama en route to deliver several iProducts to New York for redistribution. Along the canal, Snowden may jump ship and find a jungle bungalow to lay low in. He should mind the history of John McAfee, the internet tech guru who created his own little kingdom in Belize complete with pharmaceutical labs and 17 year-old girlfriends before his paranoia (and the sudden deaths of his neighbors) sent him into hiding. Belize hunted him until he escaped into Guatemala. Guatemala promptly caught him and sent him to Miami. Central America is not the best place to hide anymore.


Sure, follow the path of Bobby Fisher, who grew old reciting the Protocols of Zion. No thanks. Reykjavik might be the home of the most beautiful women in the world, which might draw Snowden’s eyes, but it is bloody cold. And to quote Edward Snowden’s “TheRealHoohah” cyber alter-ego according to Slate:

I also don’t see the allure of “Scandinavian” countries, but that’s simply because I don’t want to live in a country where warmth and comfort are only spoken of in bedtime stories.


While Moscow would consider offering Snowden asylum (according to Russian media), the strikes against Iceland (cold) and China (totalitarian regime) would certainly be present here. For Snowden to hand himself over to Mother Russia would make him the most renown and likely hated American turncoat defector of the Cold War (and yes, the Cold War is still going on).

Ecuador, Venezuela or Cuba

Neverman takes watch over Quito, Ecuador

Neverman takes watch over Quito, Ecuador

These are frequent escape destinations for American ex-pat exiles. I, myself, have visited Ecuador and Cuba looking for possible bungalow retreats (amongst other things). With the instability of Venezuela and Cuba in the sudden void of recent leaders (Hugo and Fidel), there is no telling the future of these regimes. Ecuador does seem settled into populist politics and have shown their dedication by putting up with the indefinite residence of Julian Assange in their London Embassy. The problem becomes, then, how to get himself to Quito?

The Ultimate Escape

The British government has already informed their Hong Kong based airlines they are not to allow Edward Snowden to board their aircraft. Should Snowden find transport, he needs to be careful of any layovers. There are no direct flights to Reykjavik, for example. A layover in an American-friendly stop would have Snowden in chains very quickly.

There is, ultimately, only one way out: Pseudocide. Edward Snowden must fake his own death. Of course, for a person of such infamy with limited wealth, faking your own death to throw off the hounds of the free world is easier said than done. Unless… those hounds were in on it to begin with.I would not be surprised if Snowden is a CIA plant and that Langley is already planning an end to this alter-ego, one way or another.

Edward Snowden, spilling his guts about the NSA

Edward Snowden, spilling his guts about the NSA

Snow: "Informer, a licky boom boom down"

Snow: “Informer, a licky boom boom down”

You better make your face up in
Your favorite disguise.
With your button down lips and your
Roller blind eyes.
With your empty smile
And your hungry heart.
Feel the bile rising from your guilty past.
With your nerves in tatters
When the conch shell shatters
And the hammers batter
Down your door.
You’d better run.

–          Pink Floyd, Run Like Hell


Earlier this week, I blogged about the unlikelihood of this Snowden character and the direct parallels to the war satire, Catch 22. Last night, trumpeted by the bullfrogs outside my window arrived the witching hour and with it a message from my old fear-mongering foe, Reverend Chette. While in the past the good Reverend has attempted to scare me shitless with his dire prognostications of the fate of one Victor Ulysses Neverman, this message was instead a confirmation of my suspicion about Snowden’s legitimacy. In short, Reverend Chette believes this NSA leakage uproar a smokescreen hiding whatever clandestine mechanization might be going on in the dim background.

Below is his message in full. I would like to offer some defense of a true victim of this Snowden scandal: the now ex-girlfriend, Lindsay Mills. While it is very likely she will cash in on this new fame as America’s newest “reality” celebrity, it is possible she has been bamboozled by the Snowden she loved and left to burn in the spotlight of the paparazzi. For one: the media (and Rev Chette) have already portrayed her as a professional pole dancer. I have read enough of her blogs and other reports to refute this – she is a professional dancer for a ballet troupe in Hawai’i and she happens to have a blog where she describes herself as a pole-dancing superhero and post half-naked photos of herself along with a video of her pole dancing. There is obviously a difference between an artist and a lap-dancing opportunist. Hmmm… perhaps I too am blinded. I have always been a sucker for a damsel in distress.

Here is the girlfriend’s blog, L’s Journey (it appears the high volume of site traffic has forced the blog-site to deactivate this page, try reading what the British muckrakers have dug up here). The more I think of it… perhaps she was the agent provocateur pulling Snowden’s puppet strings.

As promised, Reverend Chette’s rant in full:

Good Evening Vic,

I know it’s been quite a while since our last correspondence, but I’ve found the developments of the past few weeks/days too irresistible not to risk reaching out. As you know, my contacts deep within the shadowy confines of the unstoppable machine give me more insight than the sheep-herded masses, and what I’m about to tell you will hopefully help you navigate the perilous waters of current events.

At this point I’m sure you are asking “why me?” Well, let’s just say you are the lucky bastard that I decided to use to get the word out. Sorry to be so blunt, but I don’t have time to pussy-foot around when it comes to important matters such as these, and per our previous conversations and interactions, you seem to be a man than is open-minded enough to realize the true breadth of what I’m talking about.

Now, down to the brass tax. Since you are a connected man, I’m sure you have expert knowledge about what is currently taking place regarding the leaking of information about one of our favorite gov’t agencies. Mr. Snowden, as you have heard, is a man seemingly on the run, touting himself as a savior to the common man and a beacon of light for society as a whole.

Vic, like myself, I figure you have been a little skeptical of how “convenient” this all seems. I can confirm to you now, per my very good sources, that this is indeed entirely too convenient. If this were a football game, this last play by our Administration would be comparable to the old “Statute of Liberty” formation. They want us to look for the pass, while their minions run down the sideline after a reverse handoff. This is from the old school playbook. Moves like this are so old, that when someone finally pulls it out of the hat again after such a long moratorium, it seems original. Except, in this case, they don’t want you to know it’s taking place at all.

Back in the good ol’ days, we used to run similar schemes like this all the time, just on a smaller scale. This one is brazen, and I’ll be damned if it ain’t working. Forget Snowden…the guy is nothing more than a smokescreen, a distortion, an invention of our current Administration, and of connected individuals with an interest in making sure that the people retain (or regain) trust in their government.

I’m sure your first question is “why would they do this to themselves?” And, “what do they have to gain?” That my friend, is where this gets interesting. These people are not stupid, and they don’t play around when it comes to keeping the status quo in place. Most people in this country would just dismiss what I’m about to tell you because it seems too far-fetched. Not me. I’ve been in the trenches. I know how these people work and how they think. I know what is at stake for them, and what they stand to lose.

If Snowden is real, he is only real in body. He’s an obvious plant by our own gov’t to take the focus away from more important issues and potential problems that could creep up as a result of the numerous scandals that had taken our Administration by storm recently. From the IRS scandal to the Benghazi incident, this Administration and other parts of our gov’t have been up to their eyeballs in shit for far too long, and it was appearing they would be there a while longer…all under Mr. Snowden appeared out of the blue to save the day.

Mr. Snowden, however he was deceived or enticed into doing this (probably with an amount of money that will make him a very rich man), will eventually go down as nothing more than a young, naive, loose cannon with an inferiority complex, and a burning desire for attention. You or I may not be happy with those labels if it were us in his shoes, but if the price was right, we might just consider giving up our life to live one in some foreign fantasy land of prostitutes with a dump truck full of cash. Why Snowden exactly? I’m not entirely sure, but considering how classic this move it, I’m sure there was a good reason for choosing him.

Oh, and the girlfriend story? Ha! That was probably some of the funniest shit I’ve read in quite a while. In fact, like Mr. Snowden himself, it was just too convenient. These guys are good, but someone really needs a lesson from an old pro like me in how to run diversion tactics. I mean, really…a world traveling pole dancer? What the fuck were these guys thinking? The guy that was responsible for coming up with that lame nonsense must have cringed when he read that in actual print. If not, I hope someone has a hole already dug for him in the desert, because that fucking moron is going to give the whole organization away. At times like this, I wouldn’t mind selling out again and jumping back into the game just to slap the shit out of someone.

You see, they are willing to take a hit for a few days if the end-game will be that they will be proven right – that these government programs are legal, legit, and are being run with the correct checks and balances. While the mainstream media, bloggers, and critics go apeshit saying “I told you so!!” in the near-term, the long-run scheme is to take one for the team, and live to fight another day. Once the wailing and gnashing of teeth is over, and they are proven to be correct, then not only have they scored a major blow for their credibility, but they have pushed the real issues to the back burner long enough that ether the majority of the public and major news media tire of the old story, or in an effort not to make themselves look stupid again, they decide to “move on.” Either way, this buys them time, and most importantly, it buys them credibility, even if they have to cheat to get it. Remember, this is not civics class, as I know you are well aware. This is the real world – one that most people never see, especially not Americans that are more worried about buying their next car, planning their next vacation, or watching episodes of Jerry Springer, to really care or to ask about what really goes on.

So, as for the Snowden story, I call complete bullshit. If you want the real scandal, keep your eye on the IRS, or dig deeper to find the real gem hidden in the weeds. My educated assessment, based on my years of experience in the field, tell me that they must be desperate to divert from something. Is the potential of the IRS story really that great? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe, they are running down the sideline behind our defense now while we continue to watch the QB.

Stay safe,


Reality is what you can get away with.

Robert Anton Wilson

Conspiracy Theory 101: do not believe every conspiracy theorist believes his/her own proposed theory. While conspiracy theorists are driven by paranoia, many (present company included) are also driven by a desire to conspire. In short, we have conspiracy envy – we want to be the one in the shadows with all of the power. All great conspiracy theorists would make excellent conspirators, we just might lack certain essential resources (various means of influence: be it money, prestige, feminine wiles). When a conspiracy theorist pushes a theory – keep in mind their end goal may not be exposing truths, but manipulating opinion.

Fast and Furious was the name of a government operation involving gun-walking: legally bringing weaponry into Mexico. The ATF could not arrest those who legally purchased 45 assault weapons and took them south of the border as it is all legit, so they decided to track the guns to see where they might go. Unfortunately, Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry was murdered by one of the guns being tracked and now we have a controversy of epic cluster fuckage.

Enter Obama and Attorney General Holder. They have taken advantage of Executive Order in order to conceal certain details about Fast and Furious from the public. Whenever there is secrecy, there is the vulnerability for conspiracy theorists to draw their own constellations out of the stars. The largest player on the scene is the NRA, whose political influence stretches from the far right to left of middle. They are claiming Fast and Furious is a diabolical plot by Obama and Holder to allow guns and eventual mayhem in order to justify tighter gun-control restrictions. The NRA is saying this is a scheme concocted by the Obama administration in order to throw out the 2nd Amendment and disarm Americans.

This is righteous bullshit. Stay with me on this folks, the NRA is brilliant for a few reasons and I will spell it out in good time… For now you should realize what is apparent: Americans are apathetic towards Mexican violence, and thus, this proposed plot. If Obama was going to take advantage of a situation to mandate tighter gun laws, he would have jumped on the Gabby Giffords near-assassination or the Gary Zimmerman neighborhood watch murder. He did not. Gun rights are safe, my friends. Safe for now.

The NRA and the “pry it from my cold dead fingers” bumper stickered truckers have always proposed a leftist agenda to take away the right to bear arms. To assume Fast and Furious is a plan to help advance a disarmament cause is to assume 1) this administration is capable of such a massive smoke and mirrors plot, and 2) the left is completely oblivious to the fact they would be voted off the island the minute they attempt to take rights away. There is no plot by the left to disarm Americans, what there is brilliant political maneuvering by the National Rifle Association. To heighten fears of grandiose espionage against gun-holders is to ensure that even the minimalist gun control legislation is shot down as “the first step in the Left’s agenda to disarm all Americans”. For the NRA to insist on the Left’s attempt at absolute radical reform is to guarantee the slightest measures of gun control are not broached.

This is what I, Vic Neverman, fully believe. There is no plot to take away our guns, only an agenda by the gun lobby to ensure any and every one can get their hands on as many rifles and ammo as deemed necessary. In order to seek out validation, I took my thoughts to Cyrus Lee, gun owner and founder of O.A.S.I.S. (Oviedo Army of Security, Intelligence and Survival – a Neighborhood Doomsday Watch group). Of course, whenever Cyrus Lee is involved, somebody is going to be in a world of hurt. Today, that somebody is yours truly.

Cyrus Lee agreed to meet me at a post-apocalyptic training center in Central Florida where paintballs are used to simulate actual bullets and wooden barriers act as an urban warfare scene. CL put me on a team of misfits – your typical Floridian redneck in camouflage (Note of Interest: as hillbilly as my compatriots seemed to be, their women who fought beside them were attractive, intelligent and hell of a lot ballsier than their manfolk). Through the course of several hours of battle simulations on the hottest day of the year, I was cut to pieces by Cyrus Lee’s gunmanship repeatedly. He let me know what I was doing wrong: I was both too aggressive or too passive, my head was too big, I stayed in the same position long enough for the enemy to flank me or I moved around to haphazardly to allow a sniper to shred through my vertebrae. I sit here at the computer, writing of this experience and can boast a full dozen purple welts across my body – all attributable to Cyrus Lee, the self-proclaimed “Apex Apocalyptist”.

“You’re like a coyote, Vic.” Cyrus Lee told me. “You’re not completely useless, but you are also not Joe the Plumber because your only skill is writing and you never see authors in Mad Max movies, do you? You are sufficient enough to kill rabbits and subsist off of road kill. You’re adaptable and a little wily. You might last a fortnight once the shit hits the fan.” Ahh, yes the mythological SHTF moment when the End Of The World As We Know It begins without ever looking back. Cyrus Lee added a final comment, “You won’t be the first to turn cannibal.” It wasn’t much of a compliment, but it was enough to allow me to sleep more easily tonight.

Cyrus Lee might have an army of hillbillies, but the man himself is more worldly than you would imagine. He even has dual citizenship with a certain European locale that is not Italy, though his Italian heritage had him routing heavily for the Italians against Spain in the Euro Soccer Final. That is right – he follows soccer, not NASCAR as you might imagine. It was while watching the Italy v Spain match we finally discussed the political motivation of Fast and Furious.

“Obama and Holder are hiding something, for sure.” Cyrus Lee began, recalling the Executive Order to suppress information from being released. “The NRA knows this isn’t the crackpot scheme they are claiming because they are in on what is truly going on.” Cyrus Lee, gun owner and card carrying member of the NRA admitted. “They might not be in on the conspiracy, but they are in on the cover-up. They are putting this gun control conspiracy out there as a red herring to disguise the real issue. The NRA is shielding the truth not to help Obama, but because George W is the one that began the whole fucking thing.”

“What whole fucking thing?” I could barely wait.

“The drug violence in Mexico began when the Zetas came into power. It’s all Byzantine city-state cartel politics down there, but before there was just the Sinaloa Pacific Cartel against Tijuana. Once Los Zetas came into the picture, SHTF in Mexico, bro. There once was peace with Sinaloa ruling the roost. Now there is competition and war. Tell me, Vic, in all your foreign policy knowledge – how does the United States react to regional disputes abroad? They pick a side. The Americans and the Mexican Federales picked the Sinaloa. The Americans are arming the established Mexican Cartel against the chainsaw barbarian Zetas.”

“Shit.” I realized. “Even the hactivist group Anonymous has taken up the cause against the Zetas.”

“Well, now, Anonymous is not someone I want to speak for. The last thing I need is them hacking my wife’s Facebook account and turning it off for an hour. You get the point, though. What Obama and Holder are hiding is the fact we have been funding and sending weapons to the Sinaloa drug cartel in an effort to help defeat Los Zetas. We can’t be arming drug lords, at least not publicly.”

“We armed Al Qaeda to take on the Russians in Afghanistan in the 1980s.” I thought aloud.

“Exactly.” Cyrus Lee finished his tall glass of Coors Light. “As usual in America – the story the networks are batting around is just the red herring. The real story is what they are not talking about. Fast and Furious is not about domestic politics, it is about taking sides in a drug war between rival cartels. George W Bush began the policy, so the Right cannot condemn it. Obama has continued the policy, so the Left cannot express outrage. Best bet for all parties is to keep it under wraps. The NRA is helping by pointing elsewhere to the origin of the stink.”

Prepping for the Inevitable END: Neverman and Cyrus Lee

The Occupy Everything Movement is at a critical juncture. With violence breaking out between protestors and police on the West Coast and the coming Winter in the Northeast, it is time for a change in direction. This anti-capitalism effort has plateaued and it appears Obama, with the assistance of a cooperative media, are making efforts to move public awareness away from the Occupy Movement. There are three recent examples of how the White House and mass media has stemmed the flow of energy into the movement through: distraction (potentially), ignoring historical milestones that may add flame to the fire, and an empty offering from the Powers-that-Be as far as transparency of government.

Ginger Hustle, master of using leverage in his persuasive arguments

First, a report from Ginger Hustle, one of many within the Neverman Network of spies. Below is GH’s post from the “left coast” which includes an intriguing hypothetical about how a new scandal’s suspicious timing has diverted public attention away from the Occupy Movement:

All is well up here on the left coast. I feel like people are
starting to shake off the lethargy of our spiritual hibernation. The
constant bombardment of images of riots all of the Multiverse has
awoken the hunger in the loins of people everywhere. I must admit I’m
always fascinated when people start gathering in pursuit of a single
goal. I find that although it’s misguided and misdirected it can often
be the catalyst for something amazing. I think the biggest speed bump
in our generations lives has been entertainment. As long ago in the
ages of the Holy Roman empire, The Colieseum was meant to entertain
and therefore keep the dociled peoples off the necks of the silent 1%.
Like a good Illusionist misdirection at the precise moment can be
very powerful. In my slightly Belzered brain I must wonder if the Joe
PAterno thing was merely a trifle the spooks held for a time such as
this… The Occupy Wall Street was really starting to gain some
traction. Popping up in more than 200 cities across the Great U S of
A, and like a great poker player with an Ace up it’s sleeve they drop
this case on the public in an effort to side track and therefore table
something that has the potential to truly awaken the “Bear.” The
“Bear” of course being more than any beard totting fuzzy Portlander,
but actually symbolizing the quiet slumbering masses…

A well written post by Ginger Hustle, an old ally of Neverman from my secret society days within the Oregonian Dude Collective. I especially appreciated GH’s reference to the conspiracy and Law & Order icon, Richard Belzer. Ginger Hustle is right, the Sandusky/Paterno scandal is certainly one that seemingly sat shelved for a long period of time. How is it that it is just now unraveling before us? Is this suspicious timing just a means of distracting the public away from the Occupy cause?

Rites of Spring: Pagan Ritualistic Dance of the Dude Collective featuring Phineas Crux, Vic Neverman, Ginger Hustle and Wara

A curious play by the media was Tuesday’s lack of coverage of the anniversary of JFK’s assassination. If there is any one date that should send anti-goverment suspicion racing through the veins of the American Public, it would be 11/22. Is it any coincidence that this 48 year milestone came and went without so much as a mentioning of Zapruder, Lee Harvey, Jack Ruby and the vigilant Garrison? 11/22/1963 is overwhelmingly thought to be a day of dark conspiracy in the mind of the collective public. Was the anniversary largely ignored in order to not add additional kindle to the fiery public dissatisfaction?

Lastly, the White House recently responded to the call for transparency in regards to UFOs. Regardless of whether you, dear reader, believe in the existence of extra-terrestrials zipping around our ears, there should be no doubt in the existence of aircraft that is unknown to the public and thus “unidentified” when observed. Why these files haven’t been previously released by the government would lead one to believe in a cover-up. At last, Obama’s Administration issued an offical letter to address the UFO question. In summation, Team Obama said there is no conclusive evidence to believe in the existence of alien life. Hardly the offering that was expected. This meager attempt at transparency came off as hollow, but an attempt nevertheless of the government to say, “see here… we aren’t hiding anything under the rug” while never opening up the closet door to display the secrets that lay behind.

The Occupy Movement is losing steam – necessary heat with the coming of winter. Is it possible the government purposely kicked the legs out of the movement by bringing us a distracting scandal, ignoring a vitally important milestone (a cynical holiday recognized by all conspiracy nuts, like Vic), and by providing an empty offering of transparency?

I, Vic Neverman, was on the other side of the world during the attacks of 9/11, carousing with the local flora and fauna when the buzz-kill news hit. My initial reaction was a sort of denial. I wasn’t trying to rationalize how the events could not occur, but rather, I denied this sort of thing could happen without… a little assistance. My paranoia immediately conjured images of the Gulf of Tonkin, the Maine, the Lusitania – was this another false flag that would springboard us into war?

Of course, our initial reaction to anything is emotion. It is a question of speed, really. Emotion travels at the speed of light while reason is a slow, methodical, calculation of facts, assumptions, and probabilities. My denial and suspicion were based on emotion and this was a powerful grudge to get over.

Years later, I was a part of Chicago’s “9/11 Truth” Movement. Those were dark days for Vic Neverman. I was a hollow and broken man after a long battle with the woman I loved. The City of Chicago had done everything in its power to bring the Neverman to the brink of extinction and I had joined the Sam Adam’s Alliance (a political action group that was a precursor to the Tea Party Movement) just as a means to defend myself against the Chicago Machine. I even had to leave my paranormal investigation group because they were too passive, satisfied with only watching horror movies. And then, there was the 9/11 group. For a brief amount of time, this group was my outlet. We papered the city with informative fliers, we argued with tourists along the Magnificent Mile, we would pound the street and then pound the beer at a Wrigleyville saloon. We were angry, I was angry, and now I had something to do with all that anger I had bottled-up. I had my fight against those who brought the self-inflicted wound of 9/11 and who were taking away our freedoms with the Patriot Act.

My paranoia increased inversely with my civil liberties. “WMD” propelled us into another war and all of this bullshit just furthered my belief everything was rigged. I eventually escaped my Chicago tormentors for a safe house in Milwaukee. Soon, I would be heading west to Oregon where I was to re-invent myself and what I stood for. It was with renewed clarity I examined the conspiracy theories which catered to my paranoia. It was during this re-examination when my position changed.

The current Vic Neverman theory on 9/11: 19 Islamic Extremist Hijackers took control of as many as four planes and flew them into premeditated targets, with the exception being Flight 93 which crashed into the Pennsylvania countryside. The only part the Bush Administration played was that of an idiot getting caught with his pants down.

Yes, my angry friends in Chicago and our fearless leader, Charlie Sheen, would be ever so disappointed in me. With this change in position, however, I still believe the Bush Administration exploited the events to springboard us into war, the Patriot Act is an insult on our liberty, and there never were “Weapons of Mass Destruction”. So how did I come to this new conclusion?

Let us distinguish the different conspiracy groups that exist when it comes to 9/11. There are those who believe al Qaeda conspired to do as they had done and that is the simple end of it. The rest can be sorted into LIHOPers and MIHOPers with the latter group becoming the predominant cyber-darling today. LIHOP stands for “Let It Happen On Purpose” with the presupposition that Cheney and Company (GWBush is usually excluded as being ‘in the know’) knew what was happening and didn’t do anything to stop it. As I previously mentioned, though, the MIHOP theory is most popular in the fringe groups. MIHOP is, of course, “Made It Happen On Purpose” presupposing Cheney and Company (as few imagine GWBush could hold a secret this big) planned the whole damn thing all along.

I am sure that my choosing the least conspiratorial theory of the bunch disappoints many in my readership, but know this – Occam’s Razor is a bitch. Let us not leave it there, let us examine the MIHOPers biggest claims:

1 – World Trade Center Towers did not fall naturally, they were bombed from within, demolished, which would imply premeditated intent by “insiders” to blow shit up.

This is an argument used by those who watch a lot of video online without really knowing the dynamics of architecture. The planes that flew into the Twin Towers were at such an angle that several floors were damaged at once with jet fuel spilled everywhere. The loss of structural integrity occurred at the exact location the planes struck and from there brought down the rest of the building.

2 – Pentagon could not have been attacked by a jet because there is no evidence of a jet crashing into the wall.

Sure, there is a hole in the Pentagon without the flailing wings of the jet, but these conspiracists do not account for the wings breaking off upon impact. Yes, it would be easier to shoot a missile at the Pentagon and achieve the same damage, but what about the “hundred” eye witnesses who saw a plane fly in the direction of the Pentagon and crash?

3 – Flight 93 heroes were fictionalized and the plane was actually shot down.

Really? C’mon MIHOPers, you are going to take away the lone bright spot of John Waynism occurring during this event? First of all, there is nothing out of the ordinary about the wreckage of Flight 93. The coroner who claimed his job was over only meant that the cause of death was obvious, not that there weren’t any bodies.

4 – NORAD was told to hold down and not shoot the hijacked planes out of the skies.

What’s new in a typical federal cock-up? Need I bring up Katrina, NOLA, and FEMA? In this case, though, I will admit that NORAD was not prepared for a domestic plane attack (though they were supposedly to be engaged in similar training exercises) and that planes that disable their monitoring devices were very difficult to track. Sure, there is plenty of radar, but keeping count of which plane is which is easier than it sounds when the flight doesn’t want to be noticed. One would hope proper technology would fill the gap these days…

5 – Building 7!!!! Of the World Trade Center Buildings collapsed many hours later because it housed offices of the FBI, CIA, JCVD, NAMBLA, etc, etc. when this building wasn’t even hit by a plane. And the leaser of the building told firefighters, “let it go”.

Building 7 was in direct contact with debris of the collapsing taller twin towers. Fires and damage were bound to occur. This building also had a different structure, where three trusses were responsible for holding up the foundation. Once the fire weakened the integrity of the trusses, the building fell. Building 7 is one of the biggest MIHOP arguments for “an inside job”, that the insider’s intent was to destroy any record the local CIA office has of… some shit which they didn’t keep backed-up on another server or didn’t email to their office in Jersey City or Philly or Wash or London or anywhere. Maybe Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse and John Dillinger’s cock were located in Building 7 which would be why the powers-that-be would chose to demolish it in the chaos. Oh… and the building leaser later said he was telling the fire chief to “let it go” in order to get the fire fighters out of the building safely.

Final Verdict By Vic Neverman:

Ineptitude in defense. Pure and simple. Good old fashioned ineptitude. We had intelligence reports warning us of these attacks. We were already monitoring many of the hijackers. There are so many ways we could have head this tragedy off at the pass and just didn’t.

If this volume of ineptitude is alarming, just remember a few years later when Katrina hit NOLA. We knew beforehand those levies would burst. We knew the city was below sea level. We knew it was a disaster waiting to happen and the only thing keeping us from being proactive in preparation was that a hurricane had never hit New Orleans before. It had never happened before, why would it happen now?

Osama bin Laden is dead, but I prophesize his redundant return a la “Elvis Lives!” tabloid captions next to a picture of any fat ass with sideburns, a gimpy hip, a curled lip, and oversized sun glasses. As with the “king”, there will become an entirely new industry born of the conspiracy that somewhere, somehow, under some dark rock, the bogeyman Osama bin Laden lives on.

Beyond the tabloid circuit, there is likely to be some refusal to believe whatever evidence of bin Laden’s demise surfaces in these next days. With the gaping schism in contemporary politics, even a victory like the capture and/or assassination of bin Laden will not come with full bipartisan support. Not that the far right is a fan of ObL, there is just so much refusal to grant the opposing side an inch that I guarantee Glenn Beck and his cronies are already devising a story of presidential deceit and cover-up with a zeal that would make the Birthers proud.

Osama bin Laden has already been buried at sea in what is deemed a culturally sensitive move* by the current Administration, but a move, nonetheless, that will stir rumors amongst a suspicious public that this assassination is just a ploy by Team Obama and that the fake Osama body was quickly disposed to assist the cover-up. And while they are at it, the Holocaust and Moon Landing never happened either… Even if the US kept the bin Laden corpse, quartered it and put each piece on display in the four quarters of the empire, there would be those doubting its legitimacy. This country is so divided, the only way the extreme right would accept this victory is if Obama had commissioned Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, and Teddy Roosevelt to storm that Pakistani compound along with the Navy Seals.

*if not sensitive, then perhaps wise as the remains will not be able to be enshrined terrestrially

As a conspiracy theorist myself and a proponent of alternative thought, I am not against questioning the truth behind the story, but I do have to question the motivation behind the truth questioning I expect in the next few weeks. Still, whatever the fear-mongering Right might say to refute the triumph the current administration will be credited with (justified or not), these alternate theories will not hold water. The President would not sign-off on this if there was any threat the real Slim Shady might standup. If Osama bin Laden were alive and were to come out of hiding now, it would be such a massive blow to the Administration, the Democratic Party would not recover for years. Even if bin Laden were dead, but died a year ago under more anti-climatic circumstances and the powers-that-be decided to now develop a Hollywood ending, any of bin Laden’s successors with the true story and proof of the actual demise would be able to similarly debunk the infidel’s victory. There is absolutely no gain for this Administration if there is any doubt the assassinated is not bin Laden.

And so I raise my glass and toast, “good riddance.” We’ve martyred one hell of a douche bag.


Who are these cowboy agitators in Cairo, whipping the protestors and assaulting international media? The shaky government that is hanging onto the faint semblance of power is a likely culprit. Opossums look fairly harmless until you corner them and this time it looks as though Mubarak and his supporters are the ones snarling their gnarly teeth.

But what could they have to gain? Is Mubarak and company so desperate that they are turning on the Egyptian people, beating up Anderson Cooper, and turning out the lights on the international stage? It is a no-win situation for Mubarak, who before had the option of bowing out gracefully. Now, the United States must quietly begin orchestrating a coup with the Egyptian military and other power groups in Egypt – even the Muslim Brotherhood – to gain control of the chaos. Mubarak has resorted to violence and enough is enough. Time to exile the tyrant…

Yet, something doesn’t feel right. It is almost too obvious that this counter-strike against the Egyptian protestors is in defense of Mubarak. One must think clearly here: who has the most to gain? Mubarak could have left in class, retired to some villa on the Nile, and become immortalized as a friendly question on Jeopardy! Through these violent acts, he loses all chance at a happy ending like a poor tipper at a massage parlor. So it is obvious the Egyptian Establishment has nothing to gain. Unless this is a desperate reaction by those about to lose their power, the new violence in Egypt may be coming from elsewhere.

So who does have something to gain through the violence? The first thing this violence is going to do is hasten Mubarak’s exodus in a manner that the Western Powers may not be able to control the turnover of power. The Muslim Brotherhood and their Islamic allies would gain the most. Could the Brotherhood be playing both sides? Could they be supporting the people through their grassroots campaign while simultaneously playing villain by hiring these desert cowboys to whip up international outrage?

I hope not.

While this has turned even uglier in Egypt, I am still optimistic. What we have is an educated youth who are determined to make a better country. Even if these young Egyptians are moved to action by theological groups, there is still a great opportunity for democracy here. The difficult part will be reshaping the economy in such a way that the poverty becomes controllable. A failed democracy would play into the hands of extremists. For democracy to succeed, the entire table must be set for Egypt and that includes the Muslim Brotherhood.

Another thought on who else gains through this violence…

The fear mongers and the oil barons. Oil barons making money with the rising prices, even as the Suez Canal becomes threatened, hurting their shipping routes. As for the fear mongers, power is most easily gained through the use of fear. Look at the power of religions who threaten damnation. Look at the power of Fox with doomsdayers like Glen Beck. Spread the fear, keep the wealth.

I wonder how much stock in oil Glen Beck has. Could it be that a GB agent provacateur beat-up Cooper Anderson?

I have been intrigued for years with the controversy surrounding the death of a natural American hero, Pat Tillman. Books and documentaries came out last year, but they all spin the same record. What we know is this:
-Tillman turned down millions in a football contract to join the Army Rangers post 9/11
-Tillman had gone on the record about the war in Afghanistan being bullshit and had agreed to speak in depth with Noam Chomsky, famed war critic, following his tour of duty
-Tillman was killed in duty, but there was an immediate cover-up and medal awarded for the Army’s golden boy/recruitment tool. The Washington Post would later mention that the Army investigators were aware that the three shots to Pat Tillman’s head were from friendly fire at the time of the medals being awarded. The Tillman family, however, were lied to up past the memorial service.
-The truth comes out, the verdict is friendly fire by American soldiers who were blinded by the sunset as they shot towards the north (blinded by the sunset?)
-Tillman’s diary and other effects were missing from camp
-Fellow soldiers broke protocol and burned the uniform and body armor of Tillman, apparently to hide the “friendly fire”
-Doctors who examined the body concluded the “friendly” fire came from within 10 yards, bringing up the possibility of homicide. Chris Matthews made similar speculations on Hardball
-An investigator of the death criticized Tillman for his atheism, saying that an atheist after death is just “worm dirt”

So along comes Julian Assange and WikiLeaks. Now I don’t condone the manner with which the Aussie flamboyantly holds the world hostage with his stolen information, but if the ends justify the means, then the douche bag is a hero for bringing transparency to government… and perhaps… to the controversy surrounding Tillman.

Nice theory. Unfortunately, WikiLeaks has mentioned the Afghan war files surrounding Pat Tillman are missing.

More and more I am starting to believe that we are all being setup by WikiLeaks. Where are the (figurative) bombshells? Are we being spoon fed a censored truth? Is this really the best Assange has to offer – embarrassing comments of the State Department?