Posts Tagged ‘Al Qaeda’

Proverbs for Paranoids, no4: You hide, They seek.

― Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow

The age of the domestic drone is upon us. Look at the greasy General Tso-stained Zodiac chart under your fried rice, right after the Year of the Kinky Monkey comes this: the Year of the Domestic Drone.  And here the cycle ends; there is no Year of the Bloated Pig to follow and save us. The Drones are here to stay. Settle in for the long kiss goodnight, at least to your personal liberties…

To Protect and To Serve and To Watch and To Record and To Cite your shitty Parking

To Protect and To Serve and To Watch and To Record and To Cite your shitty Parking

Fortunately for us domesticated suburbanites, there are test rats who’ve been under the rule of the iron-fisted sky for years. From these infidels, we may learn a trick or two on how to evade the omnipresent eye of Big Brother. Behold – the captured Mali Papers, detailing Al Qaeda advice for avoiding drones. This is part two, see my previous drone blog on the first six rules which seem to be sponsored by the Russian Vladimir’s Secret Lingerie and Electronic Gizmo Catalog. If you are pro-domestic drone, then perhaps my introduction into the subject is the place to start to learn why you are misled.

Note: this is advice for Americans against a potential fascist dystopia in the near distant future. I certainly do not condone the douchery that inspired these Mali Papers in the first place.

Below are tactics 7 through 22 along with Vic Neverman’s personal comments:

Al Qaeda Anti-Drone Tactics (7 – 22), courtesy of the Associated Press

7 – Using general confusion methods and not to use permanent headquarters.

One can only imagine what jihadists consider to be “general confusion.” 3000 years ago, the I-Ching mentions, “Chaos – where brilliant dreams are born.” This is more than fortune cookie inspiration. The drone evader must be irrational. I am not saying set your pants on fire… but on 2nd thought, why not? The drones overhead are piloted either by some algorithm that never saw you coming or some bored pilot who is easily distracted by flaming pants or nude beaches.

It may not be easy to live a domesticated suburban life without a permanent headquarters, but it is possible to switch up your goings-on. Don’t frequent the same bar every Monday Night. Look at online porn at different public libraries. Nap on different park benches. Keep things new and fresh.

8 – Discovering the presence of a drone through well-placed reconnaissance networks and to warn all the formations to halt any movement in the area.

Don't stand anywhere your reflection can be seen from the Moon. Like the freakin' Space Bean of Chicago.

Don’t stand anywhere your reflection can be seen from the Moon. Like the freakin’ Space Bean of Chicago.

Setting up social media could work for routine drone dodging, but a backup plan must be in place should shit hit the fan and the social networks go off-line. Many hysterical conspiracy nuts fear a One World Order’s attempt to subdue We the People and, well, should this occur THEY (the 1-worlders) could pull all stops and shut down the web and cell towers. That is why there is nothing better than a little ham radio. Be sure to pick out a catchy handle like “Jimmy Two-Shoe”, “Goodfoote” or “Bacon Longstrider”.

9 – To hide from being directly or indirectly spotted, especially at night.

Hiding from being directly spotted is a no-brainer, but what the hell does it mean to be “indirectly spotted”? Simple… avoid places that will broadcast your reflection. Or your whereabouts on the web. Turn off your GPS device – they only dumb you down anyway. How do you think you are so easily followed? It is because that Aussie-accented vixen giving you directions is also setting up your own bloody roadblock.

10 – To hide under thick trees because they are the best cover against the planes.

F'ing Predator! He's invisible and he can see in the dark.

F’ing Predator! He’s invisible and he can see in the dark.

Bullshit. The jihadists obviously did not grow-up watching as much HBO as I did. Take the movie, Predator. What do you think the Predator Drone is named after? The crazy son-of-a-bitch alien that hunted Arnold “Dutchy” Swartzeneggar in some Central American hellhole. After Arnold cooked that bitch, the Army took the alien technology and used it in drones to search via infrared and other cool shit like that. Trees, no matter how thick, can’t save you from the Predator.

11 – To stay in places unlit by the sun such as the shadows of the buildings or the trees.

Darkness is overrated. Drones can see in the dark. Better advice is to be moving where there is much movement. When you are one flotsam in the currents of humanity, it is much harder to pick you out.

12 – Maintain complete silence of all wireless contacts.

Then why have wireless contacts? Maintain complete silence when you believe you are being followed or monitored. Then go with a reserve ham radio frequency or resort to calling on disposable phones, but only numbers that are not being monitored.

13 – Disembark of vehicles and keep away from them especially when being chased or during combat.

It would be a good idea to avoid common transport when you believe you are being followed. I only take buses and taxis and only to places I did not intend on going to in the first place.

14 – To deceive the drone by entering places of multiple entrances and exits.

Shopping malls, sports arenas, subways… though keep in mind each of these will have their own internal monitoring.

15 – Using underground shelters because the missiles fired by these planes are usually of the fragmented anti-personnel and not anti-buildings type.

If you are concerned with fragmented anti-personnel missiles then I am afraid I cannot help you. Yeah, I am just afraid.

16 – To avoid gathering in open areas and in urgent cases, use building of multiple doors or exits.

On a more covert level, if you are going to meet with someone you don’t want to be caught with, try Turkish bathhouses, brothels, other places it would be assumed you are up to other duties. If you have an important meeting, try meeting in line at the DMV. Big Brother created the DMV as a means to keep people away, THEY would never suspect you purposely meeting in line there.

Plan to meet at the DMV. No authority would ever assume you would willingly go to the DMV if you didn't have to.

Plan to meet at the DMV. No authority would ever assume you would willingly go to the DMV if you didn’t have to.

17 – Forming anti-spies groups to look for spies and agents.

Umm… not sure what kind of friends you have, but if I attempted to start mobilizing all my friends to look for spies I wouldn’t have friends much longer. Good luck with this one. Best bet is to just be critical of those who laugh at your jokes. A girl that should be out of your league who is suddenly interested in you… probably too good to be true.

18 – Formation of fake gatherings such as using dolls and statutes to be placed outside false ditches to mislead the enemy.

Maybe the jihadists did have HBO. This sounds like something straight out of Home Alone. I am not sure what good false ditches are good for.

19 – When discovering that a drone is after a car, leave the car immediately and everyone should go in different direction because the planes are unable to get after everyone.

Learn to ride a skateboard. They make for quick getaways from tailed cars. Just don’t be the first one out or you might be the first one nabbed by your pursuers who are just as happy to have one vandal who they can torture out the names of the others.

I, however, cannot balance upon a skateboard should my tailbone depend on it. Instead, I just loosen the screws on my friends skateboards and wait for them to try to escape first.

20 – Using natural barricades like forests and caves when there is an urgent need for training or gathering.

A bunch of bearded dudes gathering at Mammoth Cave National Park doesn’t sound like a good idea. If there is a need for training/gathering in private, perhaps agree to separately descend upon the same campsite out in the wilderness. Avoid plotting at Wafflehouse or Denny’s or anywhere the waitresses are smarter than they look.

21 – In frequently targeted areas, use smoke as cover by burning tires.

So much for being inconspicuous. Sure, just run over to Firestone and start setting shit ablaze… No, this is not a good idea.

22 – As for the leaders or those sought after, they should not use communications equipment because the enemy usually keeps a voice tag through which they can identify the speaking person and then locate him.

Oh yeah. Disposable phone or not, the NSA knows who you are whenever you speak. With the disposable phone without GPS, it will just take them longer to find you and burn you out of your hole. Your voice is a virtual fingerprint. Better off texting.


Rise of the Drones

Rise of the Drones

Fight or Flight? With drones buzzing overhead – how should you react? If you were (hypothetically, of course) a jihadist in Mali, Yemen or Miscellanistan, you’ve likely already considered your options as the American robo-pterodactyls circle above you like buzzards over an armadillo buffet at a Texas truck-stop. Drone evasion is an everyday occurrence for suspected terrorists abroad, which creates an interesting lab experiment: What defenses might the lab rat put up against the all-seeing eye of Big Robo-Brother? The lessons learned by our enemies over there may be of use for the common American facing the escalating police state here on American soil.

The Florida Senate passed a bill limiting drones in police surveillance operations and many other states are likely to follow. While that may be so, surveillance camera footage was crucial in capturing the Tsarnaev Brothers after the Boston Marathon incident. It is inevitable that drone usage will eventually be approved for all-out domestic surveillance and our civil rights will ever more become the sandcastle awaiting the rising tide of fascism.

Introducing the Mali Papers: when the French stormed into the Timbuktu headquarters of Al Qaeda, they uncovered the manual for drone evasion handed out to the various terrorist cretins that subscribe to that shit. Below are the first six of 22 lessons on drone evasion accompanied by Neverman advice on how we might apply the notes of these ass-clowns when attempting to preserve our own civil rights at home here in the US of A.

Al Qaeda Anti-Drone Tactics (1 – 6), courtesy of the Associated Press

1 – It is possible to know the intention and the mission of the drone by using the Russian-made “sky grabber” device to infiltrate the drone’s waves and the frequencies. The device is available in the market for $2,595 and the one who operates it should be a computer know-how.

Vic – Bullshit. “Sky-grabber”, really? Vlad “the paler impaler” Putin likely penned these rules himself to promote one of his RadioShack cronies.

Parking Violation

Parking Violation

2 – Using devices that broadcast frequencies or pack of frequencies to disconnect the contacts and confuse the frequencies used to control the drone. The Mujahideen have had successful experiments using the Russian-made “Racal.”

Vic – again, this reads like an add from Vladimir’s Secret Lingerie and Electronic Gizmo Catalogue. “To bring out the inner mujahideen in your partner, trying pairing your borscht-flavored candle with this double-headed meat thermometer.”

3 – Spreading the reflective pieces of glass on a car or on the roof of the building

Vic – perhaps there is something to this mirror stuff. What the Mali bad-guys might know that we domestics do not could be that each of our drones has a little Adonis in them. Perhaps every time a drone sees its reflection, it pauses long enough to admire its sleek stealthy figure and in doing so forgets its true purpose. This may be worth trying out – putting mirrors atop cars and baseball cap lids.

4 – Placing a group of skilled snipers to hunt the drone, especially the reconnaissance ones because they fly low, about six kilometers or less.

Vic – I do not advocate snipers. Not in my domestic surveillance scenario. Should Skynet go haywire and the drones start exterminating human kind, then I will come back and edit this blog post. Until then, keep the sniper rifles pointed down.

Hi There!

Hi There!

5 – Jamming of and confusing of electronic communication using the ordinary water-lifting dynamo fitted with a 30-meter copper pole.

Vic – what the hell is an “ordinary water-lifting dynamo”? Is this how plumbing works in Kandahar?

6 – Jamming of and confusing of electronic communication using old equipment and keeping them 24-hour running because of their strong frequencies and it is possible using simple ideas of deception of equipment to attract the electronic waves devices similar to that used by the Yugoslav army when they used the microwave (oven) in attracting and confusing the NATO missiles fitted with electromagnetic searching devices.

Vic – holy run-on sentence, Batman! I am jammed and confused just reading this advice. Old equipment running 24 hours – I imagine you could play Atari with the volume turned all the way up. Where can we get one of these Serbian microwave ovens that confuse NATO missiles? Not that I expect a NATO strike on my bayou bungalow anytime soon, but it wouldn’t hurt to have… especially if it keeps my nuggets warm.

Stay tuned for Domestic Drone Evasion: Advice from the Enemy (part 2: general confusion methods)


Neverman Recommended Attire for Evading Surveillance: Wide Brim Hat, Urban Camouflage and of course Beard

Neverman Recommended Attire for Evading Surveillance: Wide Brim Hat, Urban Camouflage and of course Beard

Any self-respecting conspiracy theorist will make forecasts for an upcoming year. It takes a theorist with some serious cunning to be accurate and some serious balls to take it public. Should ‘cunning’ be at a lack, it takes a theorist with a high threshold for pain to actually go on and later review the predictions of the year that was/was not.

Welcome to the Vic Neverman 2011-in-Review Predictions Blog!

While I didn’t formally ‘publish’ any predictions around this time last year, the following list would have been the predictions I would have published if I were not so damned busy crossing river streams to keep the scent of the hounds off my ass, or, for that matter, the scent of my ass off of the hounds.

Now you, dear reader, may say “Hey… Vic, how do I know you were actually predicting the below predictions and are not just making these up?” In which case I would respond, “If I were making these up, wouldn’t I have a greater success rate?” Besides, you don’t doubt me when I paraphrase my father’s high school diary…

“Dear Diary… or future son that I will likely name Victor Ulysses after his grandmother and who may find this diary, and then lose it, and then have to guess at what it’s original contents might be… I read that Jack Kennedy is planning to print off money outside of the Federal Reserve. Jeez, the last time a president printed interest-free cash, it was a curtain call for Mr. Lincoln. I don’t see this ending well.”

So in Neverman tradition, here were my 2011 predictions:

1 – Despite whatever Harold Camping says, the world will not end May 21st, 2011. (I nailed this one, though I do recognize the possibility Jesus could have raptured his chosen and left diabolical dopplegangers in their place – VN)

2 – The Bilderberg Group will pick a GOP candidate from amongst the guests at their annual brouhaha to oppose Obama, and thus, hedge their bets that they will still be the puppet-masters of the world. The BG party guest that will run as Republican nominee is Rick Perry. (Fail… but it was looking good for a while – VN)

3 – The NeverBrother-in-Law, a government-contracted spook, will attempt to frame me, Vic Neverman, in some sort of white collar criminal act, but at least I will go to a nice prison with good gruel. (He’s probably waiting until after the holidays – VN)

4 – China will use their weather manipulation device to send multiple hurricanes to the American Southeast and bankrupt the insurance industry. (Another miss… unless we counter-attacked with our own weather manipulation device)

5 – Obama’s birth certificate will be proven genuine, but we will learn Madonna is not actually English. (Only half-right, but what a relief to learn Madonna is really English)

6 – Osama bin Laden will be found in a New Jersey apartment, but only as a creepy automaton for the sake of producing al Qaeda videos. The real Osama, we will learn, is locked in the bathroom on the International Space Station and no one can talk him out. (Miss, but the bin Laden robot might still be in Jersey City, lying about like a rejected prop piece from Disney’s ‘Small World After All’ ride)

7 – Due to gas prices, the American populace will turn to light rail and riding segue ways to work. (Miss)

8 – Tom Cruise will claim to do his own stunt work, but it will only prove to be one of his expendable clones. (Not enough information, but I am hoping for revelations to come out of ‘The Making of Mission Impossible 4: The Mission Is Impossible Again’ which is bound to be on HBO any day now)

9 – Obama will invade Iran to further his dream of a Persian Autobahn from Baghdad to Kabul. (Invasion on hold)

10 – The Tea Party will split from the GOP Establishment and create a third party, which all of the Republicans will eventually join and elect old GOP Establishment types to be candidates. (I have no idea what actually happened, but these are the best Republican debates ever)

11 – Space Tourism will suffer a setback when the first astro-tourists return disappointed, claiming space is just filled with space. We, however, will all know that they saw far more than just the void and that whatever it is they did see does not want them saying anything more. (No space tourists, but this sounds like a good prediction for 2013!)

12 – Arab States will be so impressed by the European economic recovery, they will decide to adopt their own multi-national currency called the Arabi. The colorful notes will feature several of their inspiring leaders like Qaddafi and Mubarak, as well as have a blank spot on the one-thousand Arabi note referencing Mohammed’s forbidden image. (Big miss)

The State Department has theorized a mighty fine conspiracy, that Iran is responsible for a half-witted plot to blow-up a Saudi diplomat on American soil. Should Iran be tied to this conspiracy there will be consequences, but please can we get beyond-a-reasonable-doubt proof before we go off to war again? It is my quasi-professional opinion that while the conspirators can certainly be proven guilty of planning to assassinate the Saudi ambassador to the United States, it is their ties to Iran and the Quds Force I do not believe can sustain the burden of proof. Before we begin swarming Tehran with our fleet of killer drones, can we please ensure Iran is guilty of initiating this masterful blunder of a cluster fuck?

Obama, who has amped-up American military involvement across the globe, has largely followed the same policies (advised by the same voices) as the previous administration. Those who remember “Weapons of Mass Destruction” will understand it falls without our capacity to overreach when theorizing conspiracies involving our perceived enemies. Should we not pause long enough to qualify the information we are receiving before our Air Force virtual jockeys grab the joysticks to their respective Predator drones and start lighting up the desert?

If it seems like I, Vic Neverman, am a bit fired up it is because I am…

Last month, Lloyd’s of London had enough proof Saudi Arabia was indirectly responsible for the financing of 9/11 that they took their findings to court to collect on damages for insurance policies they had to pay out. Saudi Royalty promptly settled out of court with Lloyd’s (or in some other way convinced LoL to drop the suit), which means the case and their findings will never see the light of my underground bunker’s fluorescent bulb. But is anyone reporting on the information Lloyd’s learned and then threatened to reveal to the public (via court), thus garnering them their (assumed) payday?


No, instead we’re experiencing the media’s weapon of mass distraction as everyone’s ire is now focused on Iran and this surreal plot of Iranian Special Forces commanding an Iranian-American used car salesman to hire a Mexican drug thug to bomb the Saudi ambassador to the United States. If true, the Iranian plot deserves front page and perhaps a movie deal, but shouldn’t the implications of the Saudis funding al Qaeda get some press time too?

I, Vic Neverman, am not saying this is an American-sponsored plot to recruit unlikely suspects into a scheme designed to fail in order to shift focus away from the Saudi princes and onto a rival of Saudi Arabia, Iran, who we happen to want to drone the hell out of anyway. I am not saying that. All I am asking for is a trial that will prove whether Iran truly is involved before we bomb the shit out of them. Is this too much to ask?

See the following link for good insight into Iran’s Qud Force and the high strangeness of this plot from the magazine Foreign Policy:

You have to admire Iranian business savvy. Iran is attempting to sue Russia into selling them a defensive missile collectors court (case was filed with the International Court of Justice), but legal fees are expensive. With all of the economic sanctions upon Iran, where will they get money to fight the good fight? Where else, but Saudi Arabia?

Why would the Saudis be interested in paying Iran? The same reason they are paying off al Qaeda.

Iran looks towards their Islamic rivals (Sunni Saudis versus the Shiite majority of Iran) and find a great economic opportunity. The Saudis, it seems, will pay for peace on their own dusty shores. This was evidenced in the case recently brought, and subsequently dropped, by the infamous insurer Lloyd’s of London. LoL brought a lawsuit against the Saudi royalty to the tune of $215 million dollars for damages incurred during 9/11.

I will let this sink in…

Lloyd’s of London was suing Saudi princes for 9/11 damages. These royals must have quickly settled as the case was barely filed before LoL dropped the suit a few weeks ago. This conversation turns to what Lloyd’s could prove – that the Saudi princes financed 9/11. The only question is what were the Saudis paying for? Vegas odds say it was a racketeering scam. The Saudis were paying for protection. Saudi royalty was paying al Qaeda to not blow-up Saudi royalty. The Saudis insured their own safety by indirectly financing 9/11.

Which is where the Iranian idea of using extortion to pay their own legal bills came from.

The elite Iranian Quds Force decided to assassinate the Saudi ambassador to the United States. You can even see the hamsters work the wheel in Ahmadinejad’s skull… blow-up this diplomat on American soil and you will scare the golden flakes of shit out of the King of the House of Saud. Bling-bling.

Where Quds Force went wrong was seeking out just the right professional for the job. Remember how I mentioned Iranian business savvy? Well, they did what any international operation in America should do – they outsourced to Mexico. They found the meanest, scariest, Mexican drug lord henchman they could find and offered $1.5 million to kill Adel al-Jubeir, the Saudi diplomat. Fortunately for Adel, the Mexican assassin Quds Force was talking to just happened to work for the DEA. Oops…

So that backfired a bit and now Obama and the United States of Killer Drones has justification to screw the vise even tighter with Iranian sanctions. In fact, this conspiracy plot seems so hare-brained, it almost begets a counter-conspiracy plot. Are the Iranians this clueless, to try to assassinate a Saudi diplomat on American turf via Mexican dynamiter? Or is this plot farfetched because it was scripted by Hollywood to justify the overthrow of Ahmadinejad and the Islamic extremist regime?

In another victory by the United States of Killer Drones, two American citizens were blown to smithereens in Yemen this week: former New Mexican Anwar Al-Awlaki and former North Carolinian Samir Khan, both members of the Radical Islamic al Qaeda splinter group of the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP). While the political situation in Yemen will not improve with the loss of the American born terrorists, the global recruitment of disaffected western Muslims has been hard hit. Anwar and Samir were english-speaking and web-savvy, their online videos and magazines were largely influential in North America and England, radicalizing a new crop of jihadists.

This brings up a scary precedent of targeting American citizens abroad for assassination, but as many defensive pundits have argued: Anwar and Samir were treasonous and treason comes at the price of death. So fuck you, fuck you, and while I am at it, fuck you Benedict Arnold.

The Pentagon’s recent success at increasing its death toll by drone begs the question: are we getting better at this or is the enemy getting sloppier? Where are our killer drones getting these coordinates from. Imagine… if you will… Osama bin Laden alive in the seventh subbasement of the Pentagon where his mind is being harvested for information. Perhaps, just maybe, Osama begged for his life and in agreement for his cooperation, the Pentagon agreed to fake his death and thus martyr the leader of al Qaeda instead of taint his radical “legacy”.

To outright kill Osama bin Laden is to destroy the greatest source of terrorist information in the world. The greater victory is not in his death, but rather, in his turning snitch. The proud bastard would never want to harm his martyrdom, however, and may choose pseudocide (faking one’s own death) via the assistance of Obama and the Pentagon. If Osama bin Laden is assumed dead, those left in his wake would never suspect he is the one that betrayed them.

Coming soon to a nursing home near you: the 6’6″ sunburnt and clean-shaven stickman, Bubba O’Reilly, the newest initiate into the Witness Protection Program.

A week has passed since the ten year anniversary of 9/11. I, Vic Neverman, peered out of my bunker and was not frightened by my own shadow. So I return to civilization, storing away my gas mask, iodine tablets, and archives of comic books until the next threat of catastrophe.

I had no reason to think there would be some sort of terrorist attack on 9/11/2011 beyond my own paranoia, but I did believe it was best to be prepared. Since my spook of a brother-in-law wouldn’t allow me to ferret away the rest of my family in to the Neverman bunker, I was forced to forgo returning to my Oregon hiding place in favor of remaining in proximity of the NeverSister, somewhere close enough for me to hack my way through the debris of chaos via machete to reach my family should the worst case scenario play out. Fortunately, my machete currently shines from polish and disuse.

Without any clear threat, I expected anything. Certainly, the theme park mecca of Central Florida was an obvious candidate for attack – even when you discount the presence of “The Holy Land”, something of a biblical playground under the threat of jihadist attack since its very inception. As a current resident in a central Floridian retirement villa that shall go unnamed, the various amusement centers were to be avoided.

And so too airports. I am not referring just to the chance of hijacking, something that is rather unlikely given the Homeland Security lockdown. I recommend staying away from any cluster of airborne vessels just in case there is an EMP detonated high up in our atmosphere. The EMP scenario could be pulled off by setting off a nuclear weapon far above our heads. The fiery blast itself may have no impact on us, but the resulting electromagnetic pulse (EMP) would disable any electrically wired device. Imagine, briefly, Chicago with hundreds of O’Hare and Midway planes overhead and suddenly all engines are cut-off. Okay, now stop imagining as this is damned scary.

At this point, you dear reader, may be rather dismissive and perchance peeved at me, Vic Neverman, for fostering paranoid thoughts about events al Qaeda would never be able to pull off. Certainly Russia and China could detonate an EMP, North Korea might have the range to pull it off over the Northwestern states, and our own government could even do a false flag EMP over Houston and blame a Venezuela/Cuba evil axis in order to justify an “Operation Cock and Bull” invasion of the Caribbean.

That is right – you heard it here first! Vic thinks its only a matter of time before our military industrial complex returns its sights to our side of the world, resurrecting long dead memories of Teddy Roosevelt and his Big Stick policies to undermine the oil rich countries south of here. Why not use a false flag EMP to get things started?

Of course, this is the type of talk one would suspect of a 9/11 Truther. Let me remind you, I do not believe 9/11 was an inside job. I do believe we used 9/11 as an excuse to station our military in central Asia in order to have a spring board to China and the final showdown that will exist there. I do not believe, though, that the USG was instrumental in arranging the attacks on 9/11/2001. I believe 9/11 should be accredited to al Qaeda and their Saudi financiers.

“Saudi financiers!?!?”

Yup. I said it. Allow me to elaborate on the Saudi princes and businesses by first turning to Bosnia. Those that follow Vic Neverman will know I have an intimate connection to the Balkan Wars of the last generation. Given that I am also co-writing a complete authority on the Fourth Crusade, a blundering campaign of Christians murdering Christians which is greatly tied to the ethnic chaos of the modern Balkans, one might even call Vic Neverman an academic expert on the situation. Given these self-imposed credits, let me talk about my briefest foray into Bosnia this last Spring in search of information about the mythical “Golden Chain”.

Stay with me here, folks…

In the Bosnian War, there were many atrocities, but let us focus on the combatants: the militant Eastern Orthodox Serbs and the ethnic majority Muslim Bosnians. In order to protect their religious brethren, jihadists from around the world came to Bosnia, creating a sheer hell of terrorist defenders versus genocidal invaders. Al Qaeda was certainly a prominent player in this Jihad defense. Years after the fighting died down, in 2002, Bosnian police raided a compound in Sarajevo that belonged to a Saudi charitable organization and found what is called “the Golden Chain”, a list of the top 20 financiers of al Qaeda circa 1988. It was basically a “whose who” of Saudi Arabia.

The 9/11 Joint Inquiry into 9/11 produced their findings which included twenty-something pages on the Saudi involvement, but these pages were all censored by the Bush Administration. When Obama took over, he promised a change in policy and said he would release the information about Saudi involvement financing al Qaeda prior to 9/11, yet he has never done so. Without seeing these pages, how do we know what they actually say? Because the Joint Inquiry was headed by my pal and longtime Florida statesman, Bob Graham, who has said as much.

Bob Graham cannot comment on the content of the missing pages, but he does not back down from his belief they should be released and that they do spell out Saudi involvement in the financing of the terrorist organization. At the close of the Inquiry and the start of the 9/11 Commission’s investigation, Graham suggested the new team start where the old team left off – the Saudi influence. Yet this never happened.

Obviously, our government is protecting our Saudi “friends”. But why, when those friends were involved with 9/11? Or perhaps the question is why would the Saudi princes and businessmen want to help al Qaeda when the United States and western demand for oil has made them all ridiculously rich?

Seymour Hersch in The New Yorker and a Vanity Fair article “The Kingdom and the Towers” both suggest the Saudi royalty and businesses have paid enormous sums to al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden as protection money. The Saudi people, a powerless base, are very much in favor of al Qaeda and are very agitated by American influence in the Middle East, which puts the princes and businessmen at constant risk. Unless, of course, they payoff al Qaeda for their cooperation. And in doing so, the Saudi power elite put al Qaeda in a position to stage the 9/11 attacks.

Bob Graham also suggests Saudi Arabia might have their own secret nuclear program. The EMP terrorist attack high above our skies doesn’t seem so far-fetched anymore, does it?

For more Neverman on 9/11 Theories, see the following blog:

An article in last Sunday’s NYTimes (found in link below) is adapted from a book coming out Counterstrike: The Untold Story of America’s Campaign Against Al Qaeda. This book apparently looks at New Deterrence, the Pentagon’s evolved Cold War strategy for manipulating information within terrorist networks and channels.

In a critique of the above, Salon columnist Tom Engelhardt highlighted the below paragraph from the article.

Or consider what American computer specialists are doing on the Internet, perhaps terrorist leaders’ greatest safe haven, where they recruit, raise money and plot future attacks on a global scale. American specialists have become especially proficient at forging the onscreen cyber-trademarks used by Al Qaeda to certify its Web statements, and are posting confusing and contradictory orders, some so virulent that young Muslims dabbling in jihadist philosophy, but on the fence about it, might be driven away.

Engelhardt’s criticism is not of the article, but rather the practice the paragraph describes: what sort of forged orders are going to drive “on the fence” recruits away? Could the Pentagon hack squad be suggesting something that would scare moderate fundamentalists, and yet, indirectly drive the real psycho-nihilist Jihadists? For example, if an order of “bring pictures of 15 dead infidel cows to your introduction meeting” might scare a moderate, would a radical actually go unwittingly kill cattle?

National Counterterrorism Center

Engelhardt also brings up the difficulty of monitoring what our computer savvy counter-intel spies are putting out on the web because we really only have so many that speak Farsi, Dari, Pashto, and Arabic. Can their supervisors possibly approve each of these various different misinformation commands? Read Engelhardt’s full critique below:

While we will never know if Engelhardt’s concerns are unfounded, at least until files are declassified in the future, I, Vic Neverman, have come up with several “deterrence” ideas to put out on Jihadist websites to scare off plenty of potential recruits. Pentagon, you may use these at your disposal…

Presenting Vic Neverman’s Deterrence Statements to be Placed on Jihad Recruitment Websites by the Pentagon’s Hack Squad:
– FYI: those virgins you were promised post-martyrdom – there is a reason they never got laid.
– Initiates are expected to provide on-demand back rubs to their mentors
– Beard extensions are available at the bootcamp salon
– Getting blown up really hurts. One of our brothers went jihad and blew up his entire torso without dying. We had to put a grenade in his mouth to release in the company of infidels to ensure he would die a martyr.
– We have discontinued the salad bar
– Mandatory psychiatric exams and optional anger management classes
– Bring lots of hand lotion to boot camp
– Free pirated copies of Seinfeld, Season Three
– No underwear allowed
– You must pay $5 to join Al Qaeda. To proceed to the next level, you must pay $20. To reach the level of in-the-closet Al Qaeda Dragon Master, Tom Cruise, you must pay $50. At this level, you will be granted the gift of flight and sodomy will no longer be frowned upon.
– Wednesday Night is Drag Queen Contest Night!
– Coupon’s for Porky’s Happy-Hour
– Complete sexual abstinence is enforced, except for those on shepherd duty
– It is recommended you bring pictures of your sisters, mothers, female cousins to provide to your mentor

Readers, I implore you and your patriotism to help the Pentagon and respond to this posting with deterrence comments of your own!

I, Vic Neverman, was on the other side of the world during the attacks of 9/11, carousing with the local flora and fauna when the buzz-kill news hit. My initial reaction was a sort of denial. I wasn’t trying to rationalize how the events could not occur, but rather, I denied this sort of thing could happen without… a little assistance. My paranoia immediately conjured images of the Gulf of Tonkin, the Maine, the Lusitania – was this another false flag that would springboard us into war?

Of course, our initial reaction to anything is emotion. It is a question of speed, really. Emotion travels at the speed of light while reason is a slow, methodical, calculation of facts, assumptions, and probabilities. My denial and suspicion were based on emotion and this was a powerful grudge to get over.

Years later, I was a part of Chicago’s “9/11 Truth” Movement. Those were dark days for Vic Neverman. I was a hollow and broken man after a long battle with the woman I loved. The City of Chicago had done everything in its power to bring the Neverman to the brink of extinction and I had joined the Sam Adam’s Alliance (a political action group that was a precursor to the Tea Party Movement) just as a means to defend myself against the Chicago Machine. I even had to leave my paranormal investigation group because they were too passive, satisfied with only watching horror movies. And then, there was the 9/11 group. For a brief amount of time, this group was my outlet. We papered the city with informative fliers, we argued with tourists along the Magnificent Mile, we would pound the street and then pound the beer at a Wrigleyville saloon. We were angry, I was angry, and now I had something to do with all that anger I had bottled-up. I had my fight against those who brought the self-inflicted wound of 9/11 and who were taking away our freedoms with the Patriot Act.

My paranoia increased inversely with my civil liberties. “WMD” propelled us into another war and all of this bullshit just furthered my belief everything was rigged. I eventually escaped my Chicago tormentors for a safe house in Milwaukee. Soon, I would be heading west to Oregon where I was to re-invent myself and what I stood for. It was with renewed clarity I examined the conspiracy theories which catered to my paranoia. It was during this re-examination when my position changed.

The current Vic Neverman theory on 9/11: 19 Islamic Extremist Hijackers took control of as many as four planes and flew them into premeditated targets, with the exception being Flight 93 which crashed into the Pennsylvania countryside. The only part the Bush Administration played was that of an idiot getting caught with his pants down.

Yes, my angry friends in Chicago and our fearless leader, Charlie Sheen, would be ever so disappointed in me. With this change in position, however, I still believe the Bush Administration exploited the events to springboard us into war, the Patriot Act is an insult on our liberty, and there never were “Weapons of Mass Destruction”. So how did I come to this new conclusion?

Let us distinguish the different conspiracy groups that exist when it comes to 9/11. There are those who believe al Qaeda conspired to do as they had done and that is the simple end of it. The rest can be sorted into LIHOPers and MIHOPers with the latter group becoming the predominant cyber-darling today. LIHOP stands for “Let It Happen On Purpose” with the presupposition that Cheney and Company (GWBush is usually excluded as being ‘in the know’) knew what was happening and didn’t do anything to stop it. As I previously mentioned, though, the MIHOP theory is most popular in the fringe groups. MIHOP is, of course, “Made It Happen On Purpose” presupposing Cheney and Company (as few imagine GWBush could hold a secret this big) planned the whole damn thing all along.

I am sure that my choosing the least conspiratorial theory of the bunch disappoints many in my readership, but know this – Occam’s Razor is a bitch. Let us not leave it there, let us examine the MIHOPers biggest claims:

1 – World Trade Center Towers did not fall naturally, they were bombed from within, demolished, which would imply premeditated intent by “insiders” to blow shit up.

This is an argument used by those who watch a lot of video online without really knowing the dynamics of architecture. The planes that flew into the Twin Towers were at such an angle that several floors were damaged at once with jet fuel spilled everywhere. The loss of structural integrity occurred at the exact location the planes struck and from there brought down the rest of the building.

2 – Pentagon could not have been attacked by a jet because there is no evidence of a jet crashing into the wall.

Sure, there is a hole in the Pentagon without the flailing wings of the jet, but these conspiracists do not account for the wings breaking off upon impact. Yes, it would be easier to shoot a missile at the Pentagon and achieve the same damage, but what about the “hundred” eye witnesses who saw a plane fly in the direction of the Pentagon and crash?

3 – Flight 93 heroes were fictionalized and the plane was actually shot down.

Really? C’mon MIHOPers, you are going to take away the lone bright spot of John Waynism occurring during this event? First of all, there is nothing out of the ordinary about the wreckage of Flight 93. The coroner who claimed his job was over only meant that the cause of death was obvious, not that there weren’t any bodies.

4 – NORAD was told to hold down and not shoot the hijacked planes out of the skies.

What’s new in a typical federal cock-up? Need I bring up Katrina, NOLA, and FEMA? In this case, though, I will admit that NORAD was not prepared for a domestic plane attack (though they were supposedly to be engaged in similar training exercises) and that planes that disable their monitoring devices were very difficult to track. Sure, there is plenty of radar, but keeping count of which plane is which is easier than it sounds when the flight doesn’t want to be noticed. One would hope proper technology would fill the gap these days…

5 – Building 7!!!! Of the World Trade Center Buildings collapsed many hours later because it housed offices of the FBI, CIA, JCVD, NAMBLA, etc, etc. when this building wasn’t even hit by a plane. And the leaser of the building told firefighters, “let it go”.

Building 7 was in direct contact with debris of the collapsing taller twin towers. Fires and damage were bound to occur. This building also had a different structure, where three trusses were responsible for holding up the foundation. Once the fire weakened the integrity of the trusses, the building fell. Building 7 is one of the biggest MIHOP arguments for “an inside job”, that the insider’s intent was to destroy any record the local CIA office has of… some shit which they didn’t keep backed-up on another server or didn’t email to their office in Jersey City or Philly or Wash or London or anywhere. Maybe Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse and John Dillinger’s cock were located in Building 7 which would be why the powers-that-be would chose to demolish it in the chaos. Oh… and the building leaser later said he was telling the fire chief to “let it go” in order to get the fire fighters out of the building safely.

Final Verdict By Vic Neverman:

Ineptitude in defense. Pure and simple. Good old fashioned ineptitude. We had intelligence reports warning us of these attacks. We were already monitoring many of the hijackers. There are so many ways we could have head this tragedy off at the pass and just didn’t.

If this volume of ineptitude is alarming, just remember a few years later when Katrina hit NOLA. We knew beforehand those levies would burst. We knew the city was below sea level. We knew it was a disaster waiting to happen and the only thing keeping us from being proactive in preparation was that a hurricane had never hit New Orleans before. It had never happened before, why would it happen now?

Osama bin Laden is dead, but I prophesize his redundant return a la “Elvis Lives!” tabloid captions next to a picture of any fat ass with sideburns, a gimpy hip, a curled lip, and oversized sun glasses. As with the “king”, there will become an entirely new industry born of the conspiracy that somewhere, somehow, under some dark rock, the bogeyman Osama bin Laden lives on.

Beyond the tabloid circuit, there is likely to be some refusal to believe whatever evidence of bin Laden’s demise surfaces in these next days. With the gaping schism in contemporary politics, even a victory like the capture and/or assassination of bin Laden will not come with full bipartisan support. Not that the far right is a fan of ObL, there is just so much refusal to grant the opposing side an inch that I guarantee Glenn Beck and his cronies are already devising a story of presidential deceit and cover-up with a zeal that would make the Birthers proud.

Osama bin Laden has already been buried at sea in what is deemed a culturally sensitive move* by the current Administration, but a move, nonetheless, that will stir rumors amongst a suspicious public that this assassination is just a ploy by Team Obama and that the fake Osama body was quickly disposed to assist the cover-up. And while they are at it, the Holocaust and Moon Landing never happened either… Even if the US kept the bin Laden corpse, quartered it and put each piece on display in the four quarters of the empire, there would be those doubting its legitimacy. This country is so divided, the only way the extreme right would accept this victory is if Obama had commissioned Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, and Teddy Roosevelt to storm that Pakistani compound along with the Navy Seals.

*if not sensitive, then perhaps wise as the remains will not be able to be enshrined terrestrially

As a conspiracy theorist myself and a proponent of alternative thought, I am not against questioning the truth behind the story, but I do have to question the motivation behind the truth questioning I expect in the next few weeks. Still, whatever the fear-mongering Right might say to refute the triumph the current administration will be credited with (justified or not), these alternate theories will not hold water. The President would not sign-off on this if there was any threat the real Slim Shady might standup. If Osama bin Laden were alive and were to come out of hiding now, it would be such a massive blow to the Administration, the Democratic Party would not recover for years. Even if bin Laden were dead, but died a year ago under more anti-climatic circumstances and the powers-that-be decided to now develop a Hollywood ending, any of bin Laden’s successors with the true story and proof of the actual demise would be able to similarly debunk the infidel’s victory. There is absolutely no gain for this Administration if there is any doubt the assassinated is not bin Laden.

And so I raise my glass and toast, “good riddance.” We’ve martyred one hell of a douche bag.