Who is Vic Neverman?

Vic and the the Hermetic Frenchman of Old Habana

Born: 20th Century, somewhere in America
Died: Probably 21st Century
Parents: Old Man Neverman and the NeverMum
Height/Weight: Average/Average
Hair/Eye Color: Dark/Dark
Other: Often bearded with cheap sunglasses
EducatedUniversity of xxx, bachelors in Finance; Studied Cereology Abroad at University College England 

Vic Neverman is an alias to a man you will likely never personally know.

The world of the common is populated with cupcakes and bunny rabbits and polarizing cable news and a citizenry drunken on government allotted gin, rigged lotteries and gladiator sport. Beneath the surface of this facade exists the dark labyrinths of the conspiracy theorist where mischief, misinformation, misdirection and misplaced morality dance as shadows by the firelight. It is in these putrid depths Vic Neverman resides, I mean, figuratively-speaking. Vic can usually be found in his St Basil Trailer Park or off the grid in the Florida scrub eating squirrel fritters or in some Iquitos bar exorcising jungle demons or bartering in the Marrakesh medina for an infidel beer or seeking antibiotics in Saigon or tortured beneath the streets of Istanbul or holed up in Dublin hiding from the Russian mob. Nevertheless, Neverman is likely off-the-grid or just off in a jungle near you.

Renown for uncanny deductive reasoning, a mastery of navigation, an acquired taste for strange women, a nose for hijinx and an intuitively irritable gut, Vic Neverman brings his skills to the darker depths of the Deep Web and the Byzantine back channels of local politics in search of the truth like a hog snouting for truffle. Twilighting as a conspiracy researcher does not pay the bills, so Vic is available for a vast array of odd jobs, such as: pizza delivery, body-guard, cryptozoologist, math tutor, swashbuckler, balloonist, cyber-security, 4th Crusade Historian, patsy, cereologist, intelligence gatherer, movie critic, life coach, food blogger, so on and so forth…

Feel free to contact Vic at VicNeverman@gmail.com

Below is the Resume of Odd Jobs, the Soundtrack to being Neverman and a few Photos of Vic and his worldly wanderings.

The Resume
(note, in order to achieve some sense of privacy, some of the company names have been altered and the jobs are not in chronological order)
– Pizza Delivery (3 years)
– Research Assistant for Universidad de Habana (2 week scientific visa)
– Executive Director of Cerberus Security International. Occasional bodyguard (1 night, see Frieda Johnson for reference)
– Financial Compliance Bullshit (ehh years)
– Official Biographer of “Catawamups University” Men’s “Competitive Dance” Team during their tour of Ireland (1 week)
– Financial Director and Lead Investigator for North Oregon Paranormal Investigators, aka NOPI (3 months)
– Founding member of the Volunteer Association of Mosquito Preservation, aka VAMP (9 years)
– Archivist for OASIS Oviedo Army of Security, Intelligence and Survival (the year of the Mayan Apocalypse)

Neverman Soundtrack (should Vic walk into the room, one of these songs is likely playing in his head):
Life During Wartime, Talking Heads (the ultimate paranoid spy song)
Whose Army, Radiohead (a drunky, exhausted tune where Thom Yorke calls out the ‘Holy Roman Empire’)
Ulysses, Franz Ferdinand (Vic’s middle name and a catchy ditty about ‘never going home’)
Florida, Modest Mouse (for anyone who can never get far enough)
Mother, Pink Floyd (‘Mother do you think they’ll drop the bomb?’ Just a paranoid boy crying out to mum)
Tusk, Fleetwood Mac (crazy percussion, lunatic vocals)
Percussion Gun, White Rabbits (see “Tusk” and apply to White Rabbits)
When the Levee Breaks, Led Zeppelin (out of all of Led Zep’s bluesy disaster songs, this is a favorite)
Ready to Start, Arcade Fire (AF always lovely and apocalyptic)
Happy, Inc, Gorillaz (see “Ready to Start” and apply to Gorillaz)

Vic has also done some work interpreting the lyrics of songs, such as Big Data’s Dangerous and Banks’s Beggin for Thread. For whatever reason, these are Vic’s two most popular blog posts.

Photos

Vic was once a child. A child with cartographical skill.

A Warning to Brides-to-Be: if your Brother is a Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist, do not marry a Government Contracted Spook or awkward moments will ensue

Vic in his more natural habitat of the secluded Pacific Northwest

Neverman mountaineering on Franz Josef Glacier, NZ

Rio Jobabo, Cuba. Vic working as a biologist for Cuba’s swamp hunters, searching for the Cuban Goat Sucker. This photo shows just a juvenile American Crocodile, not the cryptid Chupacabra.

Rio Jobabo, Cuba. Another false alarm as Vic grabs the Cuban Iguana he thought might have been the ever-elusive Chupacabra!

Angkor Wat where Vic was allowed five wives

On the Edge: Coach Cuda of the Catawampus Feralcats and the Team Journalist Vic Neverman in the Aran Islands of Ireland

Ginger Hustle and Vic find Leverage on a Pacific Beach

Roman Ruins on the Plains of Anatola – Pergamon, Turkey

Showdown in Siem Reap. VAMP President Vic Neverman in Cambodia. Also, from left to right, Mr and Mrs VanWasted, Vic’s ultimate nemesis Phineas Crux and hovering over the scene, Phineas’ 7 foot goon, Q-Ball

All blogs brought to you from the safe confines of the NeverTub…

“The spy blimp hovered overhead like a bloated sky whale of voyeuristic menace”

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Comments
  1. MDF says:

    Surely you realize that the artist’s rendition of Vic is disturbing close to the jihadist that once tried to detonate a M80 on Mickey Mouse because he thought Mickey too weak for not making Minnie wear a veil.

  2. vicneverman says:

    Worry not friend, Mickey Mouse too will be exposed in my future expose’ on mind control in America. I once infiltrated the Cult of the Rat where I was forced to drink the ‘orientation’ kool-aid. While I cannot say I trust my own thoughts since that journey, I have to assume my will to truth will trump all drug and device implanted in my cerebral cortex.

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