Stealth Satellites and Iranian Space Monkeys – Spy Banter from Area 51 to Tehran

Posted: June 28, 2011 in Conspiracy, International Intrigue
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Best conjectures on what sort of work is being done at Area 51 today would be that the CIA and Air Force are building stealth satellites with their military industrial corporate sponsors. With China showing off its fierce satellite destroyer rocket, a stealth satellite might be exactly what is called for (if they are not already in place). In the meantime, we are sending cheap satellites into space with technology developed for the U-2 spy plane at Area 51 some 60 years ago. It is quantity over quality scheduled to blast off today from Wallops Island, VA, carrying a low tech satellite aboard an 80,000 lb Minotaur rocket. The missile launching powers-that-be figure if China is going to shoot our space trash out of orbit, might as well send up more cheaper sats.

Not far behind us… actually, very far behind us… are those wacky Iranians who have managed to put a 34 lb satellite in orbit all by themselves (i.e. Russia didn’t help them this time). While the satellite itself is nothing to be too concerned with, this is a demonstration of the pony that put the baby sat there in the first place – Iranian rocket technology. If their rockets can reach orbit, they can likely reach Israel.

Fortunately, the Iranian nuclear facility at Bushehr isn’t quite complete. With a very convenient plane crash in Northwest Russia, the nuke factory in Iran was served a further setback. Who says there is no such thing as coincidences?

Speaking of the Mossad, I was reading the Jerusalem Post and they have some interesting intel on Iran’s plans to launch a monkey into space:

At this point, I have to question the effectiveness of the sanctions our Western Civilization is putting on Persia. How the fuck are the Iranians getting monkeys? I have never been to Tehran, but I don’t recall any of my monkey classes mentioning monkeys in Iran. The Russians taught them Nuke 101, but are they also funneling space monkeys to Ahmadinejad? And who trains these monkeys?


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